the one with holiday hosting

The Ghomans are staying in New England for Christmas! Last night we kicked off the holiday by having Jesse's family over for a Christmas Eve Eve dinner. It was so fun to dress up our dining room table, light the candles, and eat some yummy food (that I didn't burn!). And we got to use our new Christmas plates - an early present from my wonderful parents. 

There's something really special about hosting this time of year. Everything just seems so much more...snuggly? I don't know. It's just the best. But another thing about hosting at Christmastime? It can be EXPENSIVE. As ministers, we have people in and out of our house constantly this time of year and I'm still trying to master affordable seasonal hosting. 

The Ghoman tricks of the trade: 

1. Serve hot chocolate. LOTS of hot chocolate. It's cheap and it makes people happy. Also: marshmallows. 

2. Candles everywhere! I learned this one from my good friend, Melissa. It's a relatively cheap way to make everything much more cozy. 

3. Clean a little everyday. Putting things away and straightening up as we go make those surprise holiday visits much more enjoyable.

4. Get resourceful. My mantra this year should really be: Use what you've got, and then go to the dollar store. So for decorating this year I went simple - I took tree trimmings and put them in green bottles wrapped in twine, used a red tablecloth from Goodwill as a tree skirt, took pine cones and fake red berries (from the dollar store) and put them in a glass vase as a centerpiece. 

5. Don't be afraid of plastic silverware and paper plates. Let's all stop pretending that we have dish-elves and give in to our generation's greatest invention when large crowds descend on our homes.

So on that note, Merry Christmas Eve! We sent out a cute and pretty Christmas card to a few family and friends - but I thought that you all might want to see our true colors:) 

Have an awkward little Christmas! From our family to yours. 

xoxo

A+J

 

the one with the sneaky tactics

Sunset along the Charles yesterday

As I sit down to write my first post in over a month and a half - I'm watching day fade into night. It's only 4:15pm and yet the sun is setting and night is nearly here. Outside my window, fall's last yellow leaves are threatning to fall and it's become so much colder that my efforts to avoid the puff coat seem futile. And as I sit here, sugar cookie candle aflame, house clean and 30 minutes to call my own - I feel a semester's worth of exhaustion descend on me. 

You might be wondering why I haven't written in awhile. Is it because nothing has happened? Nope! Many things have gone on this fall -we've been busy, active, and all over the place. Is it because I now hate writing and have lost all interest in this little blog? Nah, you knew that wasn't the case. I think it's because the thing that's been on my heart recently is not simple. It's not an outfit, a recipe, a house trick, or even an anecdote. The thing that's been on my heart has felt complicated and a bit heavy. I think we call it discouragement. 

Now before you start wondering about the source of my discouragement - I ask you to bear with me. Because the truth is - sometimes a feeling doesn't stem from reality or from a specific turn of events or a life stage. Rather, discouragment, is simply a feeling that develops from how you interpret reality, life events, etc. And as I think through my last few months - that is where my discouragment comes into play. 

About a month ago - several things happened that sent me in bit of a tailspin, emotionally speaking. I started questioning my capacity to accomplish the tasks God set before me. I was feeling the bitter sting of rejection and before I knew it - I was down. Really down. As I considered my strengths, my weaknesses, and my emotional state - a very dear friend and second mom (they're the best) advised me to remember that as an 11 year old Christian, Satan is still targeting me and trying to render me ineffective for God. Her perspective shouldn't have shocked me - I mean, duh, Satan is rude and relentless, and yet there was some part of me that was a little surprised that my state was a result of Satan's schemes. Why did this surprise me? I think because I'm used to helping young women with some of Satan's louder tactics. The tactic of discouragement is sneaky and subtle. 

But as I've continued to think about her advice (and as several situations have worsened and others have gotten better) - it's only become more clear. Satan has long implemented the sneaky discouragement ploy against God's people. Why else would God warn Joshua and the Israelites to "not be discouraged" or afraid multiple times in the first several chapters of Joshua? Why else would he charge Gideon to fight against it? No, I'm convinced that when Satan fails to trap us with the neon sins in the scriptures (and believe me, I'm not immune to those either) - he attacks us with the seemingly innocent (but powerful) feelings of discouragment, doubt, and fear. The ultimate faith-busters.  

I'm not sure where you're at or how you're feeling going into the holidays or the wintery season (maybe you're feeling perfectly happy and wishing this was a post on how to dress for a Christmas party...next time, ladies) - but I'm convinced that God has a plan to use this season for our good whereas Satan has a plan to leave us feeling down, faithless, and all around jacked up! What is it for you that leaves you feeling hopeless spiritually? Is it your job and feeling like it's more than you can handle? Is it school work and feeling like it's insurmountable? Is it a relationship or a friendship wrought with conflict? Is it the unkown? Is it a feeling of inadequacy in your walk with God? Whatever it is - I believe that God has the victory over discouragment and doubt. It sounds basic - but I'm fighting his tactics with the same reliable weapons: prayer (and prayer walks - so good), lots of scripture, worship music (I'm so 'that girl'), and openness. They still work! And slowly but surely, I'm feeling really hopeful and confident that my faith level can and will change.

The sun is down now and over 30 minutes have elapsed since I began my little rant. But my heart feels a little lighter as I prepare to blow out the sugar cookie candle and get on with my evening. God is good, honesty is good, and I'm happy to back on the blog:) 

xoxo and happy weekend! 

"So my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless." 

1 Corinthians 15:58

{apple picking + the autumn basics}

After yesterday's autumnal events, I think that I can finally say that I am a real New Englander. I picked apples (for the first time!), ate melt-in-your-mouth apple cider donuts, and made an apple pie (also a first). Now, before you get to thinking that I'm abandoning my Southern roots - I also said "y'all" multiple times and kept up-to-date about the Bulldawgs' injuries in Saturday's game. See there? I'm the same girl - but just, New England-a-fied. We had so much fun with two of our best friends, Jon and Rachel, as we soaked up the incredible fall day - gosh, I love Monday's:) 

Now getting dressed for such an occassion is a whole other matter entirely. Would I be climbing? Would it be muddy? After realizing that my chivalrous husband would be all too pleased to climb trees - I breathed a sigh of relief and wore whatever I wanted:) I'm always big on buying basic pieces that are interesting enough to wear and rewear a thousand different ways. I'm too broke for many statement pieces!Two of the latest additions to my wardrobe are this denim vest and this white cut-out shirt. I'm loving the possibilities both of them are giving me. The key to my New England wardrobe is simple - can I layer it? Will it look good with a scarf? These two new pieces passed the test and made me feel cute and feminine for a day in the orchard.  

Denim Vest: Old Navy

Cut-out Shirt: Forever 21 (similar)

Navy Cords: J. Crew Factory

Red Flats: Old, similar

xoxo

Happy Autumn!

the one with Kendi {and some totally awesome Old Navy jeans}

A month ago, I experienced what it's like to be a giggly, excited fan-girl. I got to meet my favorite blogger, Kendi Skeen of Kendi Everyday, -- and if that wasn't enough, she personally styled me and my Boston bestie, Amber! Although we attempted to act oh-so-cool, I'm pretty sure our constant squealing and hyperventelating outted us as total nerds:) Please forgive me for not telling you sooner - I think the excitment of it all put some pressure on my writing juices to post the perfect post to mark the occassion. I finally admitted to myself that if I waited any longer it would no longer matter anyway - because it would be awkwardly irrelevant! So anyways, after following Kendi's blog for several years - laughing at her jokes, admiring her style, and commiserating with her (albeit virtually) in hard moments - I felt like I was meeting an old friend. Kendi herself is the most down-to-earth person imaginable and her actual friends are some lucky folks! We talked about everything from wedding bands to cameras to the south (southern girls unite) and I felt like I could have picked her brain for several more hours. It's a pretty incredible feeling to find out that your cyber fashion hero is a genuinely fantastic person:)  

But it wasn't just fun to meet Kendi - it was a blast getting styled by her and getting some brand new clothes for the fall! Kendi dressed Amber and I in matching polka-dot chambray shirts, zipper ankle jeans and red flats and accessories. Twinsies! Interestingly enough, Old Navy has been my go-to for jeans for years now. In college I was constantly on the look-out for jeans that didn't lose their shape hours after putting them on. Come on, admit it, you too have been a victim of the "saggy butt" at the end of a day too. Hawt. So anyway, several years ago I discovered the Diva jeans (heyyyy) at Old Navy - and my end-of-the-day saggy bottom probs vanished! Other bonus? They're less than $30. So when I heard about Kendi AND Old Navy Jeans teaming up - I was pumped. The new jeans are stretchier than I'm used to but I'm loving them so far. They're just so comfortable! At the end of our styling session, the pop up shop put bright lipstick on Amber and I and out we went - feeling fabulous and ready for autumn. Denim on denim by Old Navy and Kendi Everyday - I would say this season is off to a pretty great start:) 

Another cool thing? Kendi even had a photo of Amber and I on her blog - check it out HERE!

Obligatory "we're-so-excited" selfie after we found out that Kendi wanted to style us both!

Twinsies + Kendi. So fun.

I was simply too pumped for a serious fashion-outfit-face.

Thanks Kendi and Old Navy for a fantastic memory and some great clothes!

{retreat//revisit}

So basically - J and I have pretty amazing jobs. One of the best parts is that we get to build relationships with some of the most inspiring people on the planet. And these young people aren't just talented - they have a love for God that challenges my heart and keeps me growing. Last week, we got to take some of our people out for a pre-semester retreat. Over the course of the retreat, we prayed together, discussed our dreams and fears, and ate an untold number of s'mores. As I sat around the campfire with these students that are allowing us to borrow their zeal and enthusiasm for approximately four years - I couldn't help but be thankful. Camping is not exactly my forte, but two nights and 250 bug bites later - I felt spiritually focused and excited to watch God work through these student leaders in our city. 

On the way home, we realized that we were near the apple orchard where we got married - Smolak Farms in North Andover, MA. We hadn't visisted since our wedding day and so we decided to take a detour with everybody to snap some pictures, visit the petting zoo, and of course - eat their famous apple cider donuts. It was so special to revisit the site where we said, "I do"  -- still just as beautiful as I remember!

The perfect ending to a wonderful mini-retreat:)

Still so in love with this guy.

It's still August - here's to savoring every last minute of summer sunshine!

A+J

{house to home}

We've now lived in our new apartment for two and a half months and as of this weekend - we are finally moved in! My good friend Paige wanted to celebrate her 25th birthday party with an outdoor dinner party and we were happy to offer our backyard for the occasion. It was such a magical night with some wonderful people:)

The birthday party was the perfect motivation for us to finish a LOT of our house projects - including completely unpacking J's office. I can't describe how amazing it is to see ZERO boxes in that room:) Moving so often in the last couple of years has taught me that having a house is one thing - but having a home is quite another. It's been so fun to watch our little house with a red door become a true haven for us and a great place to share with our friends. That said, here are some of my favorite parts of our home so far. 

Living Room: The gallery wall is something I've been wanting to try for awhile and here is my best attempt. We included a yarn-and-nail G (for Ghoman - obvi) that Jesse was sweet enough to do for me. I also included a little watercolor, our wedding invitation and some family photos. 

Dining Room: The map is a 1980s version of the world that a family gave us when they were moving - it's aqua and wonderful:) The credenza is one of my favorite pieces in our home. J found it in a dumpster at MIT one night and decided to fix it up. He's seriously ridiculous at finding things like this - he's definitely got a better eye than me! 

Bedroom: A month or so after we got married, we ended up in a large antique barn with my mother-in-law. We spotted this mirror and talked the guy down to $40. I'm still in shock that he let us

take it for so cheap! In our last place it hung on the wall adjacent to the bed, but now I love having it above the bed right when you enter. It's quite the statement. Oh and next to the bed is one my favorite quotes by Charlotte Bronte, "Whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same." :) 

What are your favorite pieces in your home? Tell me about it and share some house-to-home inspiration!

Happy Monday everyone!

xoxo 

A+J

{the very first year}

It's hard to believe that it's been ONE WHOLE YEAR since I became Mrs. Alexandra Ghoman! I mean, really, how did that happen?!

Photo by Vanessa Embling

People say that your wedding day is the happiest/most perfect/most amazing day of your whole life. And well - it is pretty incredible:) But it's not quiteeee perfect. Case in point: I woke up that morning to a charlie horse in my right calf muscle freakishly early and screaming. How's that for birds chirping and waking you up with the morning's light? I look back on my wedding day and I love the way it was, the way it felt - from the beautiful barn that was ridiculously hot (ok, that I would change), to the parade of flower children that walked down the aisle, to the cookie and lemonade mini-reception, to the yard games next to the apple orchard, the personalized Jones' sodas made by mother-in-law, and the twinkle-light reception - it was an amazing day. When I planned my wedding, I didn't quite know what I wanted it to look like - that part came later - but I knew what I wanted it to feel like. I wanted it to feel like family. I wanted it to feel like a reunion. And it totally did. Every detail came from that desire - the location, the food, the decorations, the music, and so much more. 

But mostly, when I think about my wedding - it was a means to an end. That special day led me to become the wife of my favorite person on the planet. Before we met, I was terrified that I would never find someone like him. I was worried that all the righteous, attractive, and interesting people were married already (or definitely not interested in me) and that I would have to settle for a lesser candidate (optimistic, I know). But then - I met Jesse. And he was more than I could ever hope for. He still is. 

I know that many of the girls who read my blog are married (solidarity, sistah) -- but I'm also aware that many are not. Maybe you're still waiting for your prince. And allow me, on this one year of marriage to give you a little piece of advice: wait for the right person - not just a willing person. Marriage is too amazing, too crazy, and honestly too difficult to enter into it with anyone other than a spiritual man who really loves you as Jesus does.

As I look back on our first year of marriage, I'm pretty amazed by how far we've come. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions, adventures, and lessons that I wouldn't trade for anything. I feel so thankful for J and that he picked me to spend his life with. I also feel so grateful for all of you - my family and friends who have patiently given me advice, cheered me on, and made this first year even more fun (whether in person or through this blog)! I'm forever grateful.

A glimpse at our day for those of you who may have missed it:) Thanks to our dear friend, Jonny Havens, videographer extraordinaire for capturing it.

Here's to many more years and many more anniversaries! 

xoxo

A+J

{the one with the evolving vacation}

Gone are the days of family vacations with lazy mornings, afternoons spent reading, and late-night movies. Instead, Laing family vacations now operate on a different time-table: toddler-time. Our schedule revolves around eight adorable munchkins and their nap times, play times, meal times, rest times, bath times, pool times, and of course...tackle-Uncle Jesse-times. As the only child (adult? original Laing?) in my family without a kid - you would think this could be a little overwhelming. And well, you would be right. It is overwhelming to be around sooo many children when you are used to...zero. But, it is also the best kind of overwhelming. I love how my eight nieces and nephews have reshaped my family. They have turned 10 would-be boring adults into big kids who will do anything (and I mean anything) to make one of them laugh. They keep us on our toes with their questions and keep us laughing with their malapropisms. They remind us to find joy in the little things and to be totally and completely silly when at all possible. But I also love that they help us to savor the moments when it's just us. We didn't turn on a movie one time when they were sleeping (a family vacation first). Instead, we caught up on the many stories we missed while apart,  laughed at the same stories we'd all heard a thousand times, and just enjoyed being together. And by the time they woke up and things were out of control once more - I really didn't mind. 

I still love my memories of peace and quiet on vacation - but I wouldn't trade the noise and chaos of those crazy kids for anything. Quiet will just have to wait:) 

You might be wondering if I was the rebellious one who did the dress code backwards...I was. Rebel without a cause. 

Happy Friday from our crazy family!

xoxo

A+J

photos by AG Pixs and Portraits

{pattern me polka}

Well, I did it: I boldly braved the wild world of patterned pants. And I have to say, it went much better than  anticipated. As a girl who is not....shall I say, pint-sized...on the bottom half of her frame, I was a little skeptical of the whole trend. But what I found is that if they fit right (and these fit surprisingly well!), then who cares?! Bring on the patterns, people! Patterns for everyone!

I decided to pair them with a basic top and let the pant-belt combo be the main event. All in all, I'm really excited to keep these in my summer rotation.

Another reason to love them:
a) they were on sale for $13!
b) they came with that orange belt (that I have since become obsessed with)
c) they forced me to wear heels - which I never do.
d) J picked them out. He was quite proud of himself.

Pants and belt: Target
Top: Old Navy (old)
Wedges: Consignment

the one with the old windows

Well the upcycling continues in the Ghoman household this week! I should definitely update you on all of our summer trips and excursions...so consider this a prelude to a longer post. But I also promised tell you more about our apartment decorations - so here ya go! 

When we got married last summer, we suspended several old windows behind the "altar" in the barn. It was really beautiful and one of my favorite details from the day. Ever since, I've been wanting to incorporate the windows into our home decor. So - we decided to convert one of them into a chalkboard piece for the kitchen. Chalkboards are pretty much the trendiest thing out there right now and I feel like quite the bandwagon decorator for doing something with it in our house. But, who cares! They're cute...and it's far too exhausting to try to be cool and cutting edge all the time:) 

Here's how we did it: 

1. First, we painted the frame in a bright color (we used the same blue from our previous dresser endeavor). It took about one coat plus edge work.

2. Next, we used chalkboard paint to fill the panes. This took about three coats to really cover it which surprised me. Definitely make sure you mix the paint REALLY well until it's thick. It was much too streaky on the first pane. Also, you the instructions for preparing the chalkboard for use afterwards is very specific - it makes a big difference in how the board turns out. 

3.  Finally, we hung it up using wiring, screws and a special hook hanger. 

Overall, I really like the way it turned out! It adds a much needed color pop for the kitchen and will be useful for grocery lists and some fun chalk art in the future. The one down side? It made us realize that our oven isn't centered on the wall...awesome. I love it when projects prompt additional projects. 

Price break down: 

Window - found on the side of the road

Paint - reused (a $3 sample would have been more than enough)

Chalkboard paint - $10 Home Depot 

Screws and hanging supplies - $3 hardware store 

Total Cost for us: $13! 

Hooray for cheap projects:) 

the one with all the upcycling

Until a month ago,

I hadn't owned a real dresser since my freshman year of college. And wait, now that I think about it - my college (Go Dawgs) owned that in the first place. So basically, I've been dresser-less since high school.

But a month ago, my dresser-less fate changed. We found a nice old wooden dresser on the side of the road and we did what any other free-loading, poor campus minister couple would do - we adopted it. And let me tell you, it was an extremely hard piece of furniture to adopt. J had to hop into the trunk and hold it in place. Chivalry is not dead:)

But then came the difficult task of updating the ancient, moth-ball smelling dresser. 

Before:

Our bedroom already has plenty of wood to go around, so we decided to paint the dresser and bring some more color to our relatively neutral room. I've always wanted to do some furniture updating but I've never been brave enough. But lucky for me, I basically married a contractor (not really, but seriously). 

So if you're new to up-cycling, here's what you'll need: 

1. Sandpaper

2. Different sized brushes

3. Quart of paint (and a sample size of accent paint if you are doing detailing)

4. New knobs

After:

This was taken right after we finished painting the dresser. We used Glidden Tropical Lagoon and Muslin (for the accent) and only needed one coat. And one more thing about the knobs - I originally wanted Anthro ones that would have cost $8 a pop - but instead, J convinced me that these $1 knobs from Home Depot were a better deal. I think he was right:) 

The final product in our new bedroom. Hooray for up-cycling and new apartments!

For those of you wondering if you can do something like this - you can! Since this painting adventure, I've taken to painting soooo many things. It's becoming a problem. Really. 

Happy Friday!

xoxo

A+J

{the one where he was ferris and i was sloane}

I'm currently surrounded by moving boxes and a to-do list so long that I can't really think straight. But instead of telling you all the things I need to do, I want to tell you about something happy. Because happy things are the best. After Jessica's wedding, J and I drove into Chicago to stay with my sister-in-law's parents for the night. First off, it's amazing when you can build relationships with the family of your brother's in-laws. Like who gets to do that?! I feel so lucky to have such a welcoming extended-extended family:) But anyway, we arrived at the Staten's gorgeous apartment in Lincoln Park on Sunday night. After several days apart during the wedding festivities (he hung with some guys while I spent time with the bride) we were easily convinced to stay in Chicago a little while longer. 

So, we did what any couple would do in our situation. We made the most of it. 

Millennium Park

Getting trendy at the Bean

Jesse channeled his inner Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Buckingham Fountain

The last-minute change-of-plans was equally amazing and sleep-depriving. We left Chicago at 4 in the afternoon with plans to stay at a motel and be back in Boston by dinner-time on Tuesday. But at 11pm, we were reminded of a work meeting we needed to be back for and drove through the night to make it back on time. Ah the joys of being young, in love, and terrible at planning. But all in all, it was totally worth it. Because how often are you in a new, sunny city with the man you love with free tickets to the Art Institute? Not very often:)

xoxo

Ferris + Sloane

love & marriage

Jessica is MARRIED!!! One of my most favorite people on the planet got married to an incredible man. Jess and I became best friends when we lived together and our relationship is one-of-a-kind. As her dad walked her down the aisle, I kind of felt like I was giving her away too - is that weird? Probably. But I guess we're just close like that:) My very own incredible man and I drove 17 hours (that's love) to be at their beautiful, special Chicago wedding weekend. And it was beyond worth it. Jessica was stunning, the flowers were full and elegant, and the couple was even serenaded by their very own bluegrass band of best friends. I feel honored to have been beside my girl as she became a Mrs:)  

Rehearsal day photo:) 

All ready for the ceremony with their rings and vows. I was terrified of losing the vows. That would have qualified me as the worst matron of honor ever...ever! 

Reading the journal Tanner made for her right before the ceremony.

Celebrating with best friends after they said, "I do!"

I love my handsome date:) 

Besides witnessing the actual wedding - seeing friends has to be my favorite part of weddings. Especially when your friends are as beautiful, thoughtful, and as selfie-taking as mine. Miss you already!

xoxo

A+J

the denim jacket confessional

True life: I've had my Gap denim jacket for 13 years. That's right:I just admitted to owning a piece of clothing for more than half of my life. I'm not sure if that makes me incredibly resourceful or incredibly cheap. In college, I once did a project where we had to judge articles of clothing by cost per wear. This jacket was in the half penny range - score. Needless to say, I'm pretty satisfied with this Christmas gift of yore. I love that denim jackets always seem to come back in style and I'm even more grateful that I never got rid of it when it was "uncool" for about 5 minutes. So to all of you out there who are still wondering if investing in a denim jackets is worth it: take it from me, they are. They are the perfect thing to go with summery dresses, layer with fall sweaters, and match with colored jeans. In the case of this outfit - the jacket is also the perfect thing to make you feel like a beatnik for a night. Double score. 

If I wasn't so obsessed with my own....I would definitely buy one of these bad boys: 

JCrew Factory's lighter shade and slightly over-sized pockets make this the perfect choice for a dress-down layering look. 

Anthropologie's interesting wash gives me an 80's flash back but in a totally rad way.

Gap's dark wash still makes me swoon. These people know how to make the perfect classic.

Happy Denim-Jacket Season (ahem, every season)!

xoxo

A+J

Life Interrupted

I've been meaning to blog for about 15 days at this point - but a couple things have gotten in the way. 

First, J and I went on a date. And I dressed cute. 

So I wanted to tell you about that. 

But then, we babysat for three children for 5 days.

Life interrupted. 

And then I wanted to write about watching those cute kids for 5 days. But then, the explosions at the marathon happened. 

.............

Life interrupted. 

And then I wanted to tell you all about the bombings and the city of Boston. But then, the whole city went on lock down and everyone was in a panic. 

..............

Life, was most certainly, interrupted. 

So instead, I want to tell you this: life throws you curve balls. Like big, crazy, unexpected, irrational curve balls. Sometimes these curve balls are the good-kind of unexpected. The kind that crack you up and make you smile with all your might. And other times, well they kinda hit you upside of the head and make you cry. But whatever curve ball you faced last week - and there were quite a few in the news alone - isn't it a relief to know that God is still God?

I want to tell you about all that happened over the last couple of weeks, but I'm afraid that I'm late as it is and that well - my life is interrupting my plans once again.

The Lord foils the plans of the nations;
    he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.
 But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever,
    the purposes of his heart through all generations.

Psalm 33:10-11

Boston Strong, all over the place:)

I also wanted to thank all of you who read and commented on my blog post last time. It was good to know that I'm not alone in my need for perspective and contentment. Your comments helped me remember why I like this whole blogging thing so much:) 

xoxo

A+J

why i hate blogs {sometimes}

Back when blogs were first getting started I found them weird, confusing and well...lame. And then I started reading Cup of Jo. I'm pretty sure Joanna Goddard's blog was nearly everyone's "gateway blog". And then it was the Sartorialist: Everyone's favorite photo fashion blogger. And then it was the Mormon moms (seriously, an obsession  - Daybook, Rockstar Diaries, etc). And then it was Kendi Everyday and others. I love these blogs. I love reading their stories, learning about their families, looking at their photos and imitating their style. I love that blogs give me ideas and help me plan adventures. I love that blogs help me to notice the little things in life and to enjoy them for all they're worth. I need those reminders. 

But to be honest, I've been feeling something for a while. Something I need to get out: part of me really hates blogs. 

Why? Because sometimes, they tell you that your life doesn't measure up. Instead, they hint that you won't be happy until you have {a husband, baby, cool city, delicious new restaurant, DIY project}. They can even make you feel...wait for it...dissatisfied. Like maybe your relationships/trips/special moments aren't quite enough. They sometimes tell you that everyone else has it right - and that you are the exception. But you my friend, are not the exception. 

To all my friends out there who struggle to wonder why their life isn't as glamorous as the blogosphere - I'm here to tell you that I don't think anyone's is. I sat in my small group at church the other night and listened to one of the girls talk about the importance of people getting the FULL picture of her - strengths, weaknesses, good days and bad days. And it reminded me that you don't get to see that on social media. Nope. Not in the slightest. In social media - you get the most polished, witty, perfectly unapproachable version of things. 

Take me for example: I post an outfit a couple times a month because the other days - I don't look so fashionable. I tell you about all the fun things my husband and I do but I don't tell you about the nights where we just watch Castle and maybe even {gasp} get in a disagreement. I tell you how much I love my family, but I don't tell you how terribly home sick I get for them when they're far away. I tell you about how much I love my job, but I don't tell you how exhausting it can be. I tell you about my clothes but I don't tell you that I wish I was a size smaller or that I wish I went to the gym more. My life is not perfect. I am not perfect. I do not have a baby, I'm broke almost all of the time, I say the wrong thing at the wrong time, I can't find my digital camera, I don't work in the wedding planning or photography industry, and I don't go shopping very often. I am a person who has been blessed with a husband, a job, a city I really enjoy and great friends - and yet some days, I still have to remind myself to remember those blessings.

Here's the truth: dissatisfaction and malcontent don't make anybody happy. As women, I think we're often waiting for our life to start. We think to ourselves (but never say aloud), "I'll be happy when I graduate/land a prestigious job/get married/start a family/get financially stable/my kids are in school/etc. But the thing is - those things won't necessarily make life perfect. In fact, each one comes with it's own unique challenge. So if we're waiting to be happy until things get perfect - we're always going to be waiting! And while we're waiting, we miss out on some of life's most special moments! 

So for all of you out there who compare and contrast your life with your neighbor, best friend, fave blogger - I am definitely apart of this "all of you," by the way - let's stop, shall we? Instead, let's choose to love our little piece of life that God has given us right now and let's cheer for other people who have received God's blessings too. 

Want more on this subject from a spiritual perspective? Read Jeremiah 17:5-8. 

If you're wondering where this little rant came from...it came from me. But I was also inspired by this article I read the other day. 

xoxo and Happy Friday!

A + J

PS We're off to a campus retreat this weekend in New Hampshire. The theme is Join the Revolution. And currently my plan is to listen to/perform the Les Mis soundtrack for the entirety of the car ride. Just thought you would want to know that little tid-bit:)

the one with the 5 truths

My first-ever favorite blogger and dear friend, Marilisa over at Young Love in Normaltown, tagged me in this the other day and I thought I would take it on too. Now, I know what you're thinking - I don't exactly hold back the truth. In fact, maybe you feel like I "over-share" on my blog. Which leads me to the first truth:

Truth One//

Ever since I was a little girl, I've been somewhat of an over-sharer. What do I mean by that? I mean that I absolutely and completely must share my every thought with someone in order to feel emotionally validated or absolved of some sort of guilt from the day. My poor mother used to be the sole recipient of all my ridiculous musings but now I try to share the wealth (God - he's the best confidant, my husband, sister, best friends, and even the occasional acquaintance). All of these lucky people now get to enjoy the inner-workings of my tangled up, overly-analytical mind:)

Truth Two//

I need alone time. Like I really need it. Like my poor husband had no idea how much I needed alone time until I wasn't getting it. I think that it has to do with the fact that my parents traveled a ton when I was in high school (and my siblings were much older and didn't live at home) so I was by myself a lot. I grew to cherish being by myself. I loved having the whole house to myself - to cook, to watch television, to relax. It became my favorite thing and it kind of stuck. Even though I'm extrovert - I've become a closet-introvert. And I'm learning to accept that sometimes I need to be alone. Like right now for instance:) 

Truth Three//

I eat out way too much. Like really. Why I can't manage to bring lunch with me more often astounds me. I think it's because I genuinely find lunch the most boring meal of the day when eaten at home. I mean seriously, a sandwich? That's no fun! Where's the interest? The pizzazz? I know what you're thinking - "It's lunch. Who needs a pizzazzy lunch?" Well...I DO! It pains me to say this, but I would guess that a majority of my money (outside of rent) has gone to buying meals out over the course of my life. Which is totally depressing if you think about it. I could have so many more cute clothes if I had learned to stop buying lunch long ago!! No more pizzazz! 

Truth Four//

I'm a humongo klutz. My family jokes that I used to make the entire house shake with my crazy falls (which also leads me to believe that I weighed 400 lbs as a child). When I lived in NYC I would consistently trip UP the stairs of the subway. I often trip when wearing my Ugg boots (Yes, I realize they're unattractive. And no, I don't care). I typically fall in front of people. Or alone. So basically all the time. I like to think that my lack of coordination gives others around me a) a little bit of self-confidence b) a chuckle c) a chance to act like the Good Samaritan and help a sistah out. 

Truth Five//

In my opinion, the worst/best feeling in the world is laughing when you know you shouldn't be laughing. Know what I mean? Like have you ever been sitting in a stiff classroom or in a church service and suddenly something strikes you as funny...or you're sitting next to a friend that is definitely a bad influence in the joke department? One minute, everything is fine and you're paying attention and minding your own business and then the next minute - the awkward joke or ridiculous moment occurs. At first, you try to hold it in. And then, your shoulders start to shake. And that's when you know you're in for it. The shoulders get worse and worse...you can't breathe and then finally there it is - an audible and completely disruptive...SNORT. And then you think to yourself - "MY LIFE!!! Hello everyone, I'm 25 years old and still incapable of keeping it together in public." Best and worst feeling ever:)

I tag: Kayci, Braelen, and Susan:)

And just in case you needed this reminder on this beautiful Monday:

Cheers!
xoxo

the early spring fashion philosophy

Today spring came to Beantown!!!! I seriously could have skipped I was so happy. Now, spring ain't what it used to be, folks. Spring in these parts means 50 degrees but hey, after 6 months of snow banks and icy winds - I'll take it! In honor of the thawing temperatures, I've decided to share with you some ways that I'm making the most of these still-chilly-but-so-much-better-temperatures in the fashion department. 

Here is my entire philosophy on the subject: 

LAYERS

That's it! That's the key!! I've decided that as long as I'm layered in a cute way - I can manage to feel like it's warm and springy while still dressing comfortably. I know, I'm a genius. I'm innovative. I'm...totally losing it at 11:30pm. 

Also - I wore flats for the first time in ages. And I found out that my feet survived the boot-less day without blisters! I think they knew that they needed to cooperate. It was only fair.

Sorority girl pose?

Showing off the layers?

Blissfully losing my mind?

Anyway, there you have it folks. Layers:)

Shirt: Thrifted
Sweater: LOFT
Jacket: LOFT
Cords: JCrew Factory
Flats: Steve Madden

{Stay tuned for my next post where I reveal five truths about my ridiculous self. Marilisa started the trend here.}

xoxo
A+J