Back when blogs were first getting started I found them weird, confusing and well...lame. And then I started reading Cup of Jo. I'm pretty sure Joanna Goddard's blog was nearly everyone's "gateway blog". And then it was the Sartorialist: Everyone's favorite photo fashion blogger. And then it was the Mormon moms (seriously, an obsession - Daybook, Rockstar Diaries, etc). And then it was Kendi Everyday and others. I love these blogs. I love reading their stories, learning about their families, looking at their photos and imitating their style. I love that blogs give me ideas and help me plan adventures. I love that blogs help me to notice the little things in life and to enjoy them for all they're worth. I need those reminders.
But to be honest, I've been feeling something for a while. Something I need to get out: part of me really hates blogs.
Why? Because sometimes, they tell you that your life doesn't measure up. Instead, they hint that you won't be happy until you have {a husband, baby, cool city, delicious new restaurant, DIY project}. They can even make you feel...wait for it...dissatisfied. Like maybe your relationships/trips/special moments aren't quite enough. They sometimes tell you that everyone else has it right - and that you are the exception. But you my friend, are not the exception.
To all my friends out there who struggle to wonder why their life isn't as glamorous as the blogosphere - I'm here to tell you that I don't think anyone's is. I sat in my small group at church the other night and listened to one of the girls talk about the importance of people getting the FULL picture of her - strengths, weaknesses, good days and bad days. And it reminded me that you don't get to see that on social media. Nope. Not in the slightest. In social media - you get the most polished, witty, perfectly unapproachable version of things.
Take me for example: I post an outfit a couple times a month because the other days - I don't look so fashionable. I tell you about all the fun things my husband and I do but I don't tell you about the nights where we just watch Castle and maybe even {gasp} get in a disagreement. I tell you how much I love my family, but I don't tell you how terribly home sick I get for them when they're far away. I tell you about how much I love my job, but I don't tell you how exhausting it can be. I tell you about my clothes but I don't tell you that I wish I was a size smaller or that I wish I went to the gym more. My life is not perfect. I am not perfect. I do not have a baby, I'm broke almost all of the time, I say the wrong thing at the wrong time, I can't find my digital camera, I don't work in the wedding planning or photography industry, and I don't go shopping very often. I am a person who has been blessed with a husband, a job, a city I really enjoy and great friends - and yet some days, I still have to remind myself to remember those blessings.
Here's the truth: dissatisfaction and malcontent don't make anybody happy. As women, I think we're often waiting for our life to start. We think to ourselves (but never say aloud), "I'll be happy when I graduate/land a prestigious job/get married/start a family/get financially stable/my kids are in school/etc. But the thing is - those things won't necessarily make life perfect. In fact, each one comes with it's own unique challenge. So if we're waiting to be happy until things get perfect - we're always going to be waiting! And while we're waiting, we miss out on some of life's most special moments!
So for all of you out there who compare and contrast your life with your neighbor, best friend, fave blogger - I am definitely apart of this "all of you," by the way - let's stop, shall we? Instead, let's choose to love our little piece of life that God has given us right now and let's cheer for other people who have received God's blessings too.
Want more on this subject from a spiritual perspective? Read Jeremiah 17:5-8.
If you're wondering where this little rant came from...it came from me. But I was also inspired by this article I read the other day.
xoxo and Happy Friday!
A + J
PS We're off to a campus retreat this weekend in New Hampshire. The theme is Join the Revolution. And currently my plan is to listen to/perform the Les Mis soundtrack for the entirety of the car ride. Just thought you would want to know that little tid-bit:)
social media has even created a culture where people's not so special moments even look desirable. Like if someone puts something up trying to show "normality" or imperfection in their life, it can still look glamorous on the other side. You know what I mean?
ReplyDeleteAlso, i try hard not to present myself a certain way that doesn't line up with reality. especially because so many other people have been a source of insecurity/frustration for me. sometimes I want to scream to the internet world: "i am weird and confused in life... please don't let me be a source of your insecurity!" but as women, i think that we compare and desire what other people have even if what we have is "better", just because it is different. We think that if someone has something different than us, it is automatically better and we are "wrong" or not good enough! what a perfect cycle of insecurity Satan has us in!
Praise God that we have a perfect relationship with Him through Jesus! And we are free from the chains of insecurity and dissatisfaction that are so heavy in this world.
Alexandra, this is so well put. It is so easy for me to get wrapped up in the comparison of what others put on display to the world. The quote that comparison is the thief of joy has been playing over and over in my head lately. Thank you for putting it so simply and bringing it full circle with God's word :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for this powerful reminder of the joy in contentment. This was an awesome post, and I'm inspired by the way you are using your gift of writing and sharing it with the world. This is a great example of how blogs can be meaningful and real...I'm so proud of you!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Lauren
PS Have so much fun this weekend!
well done girlfriend! you inspired me to delete my facebook and blog feeder app from my phone. because it's SOO inconvenient to go read it on the computer. I'm not serious but serious all at the same time. :)
ReplyDeleteyou're a great writer my friend. And I accepted your 5 things challenge. I can't wait to go meet Kendi, see if she's as perfect as we think, and then blog about it. maybe we can even make an appearance on her blog? eh?
love you. praying for your retreat. PLEASE listen to les mis the whole time. xoxo
Thanks, Alexandra. This was super helpful! I'll admit, every time I read your blog, I want your life! I find blogs (and magazines, tv shows...etc) often make me feel discontent with where I'm at. Thank you for the reminder that we need to be joyful always! I'm definitely going to work on being more content.
ReplyDelete<3