the one about body-image and postpartum "fashion" {if-you-can-call-it-that}

Postpartum fashion. You stumble out of bed, throw on the now too-big maternity clothes that you lived in for your last trimester only to pick up a cute-as-pie but still crying baby, feed them, burp them, change them, and then soldier on in a delightful but exhausting haze of activity, naps, laundry, diapers, snuggles, and spit-up. If you’re miraculously able to manage a shower AND put on make-up in the same 24 hour period you feel worthy of a medal (and let’s be honest, they really should have medals for this).  For those of you new moms that manage this feat with a newborn AND a toddler - we new moms of one baby stand in awe of you. That said, once you get through the first two months of all-out life-altering craziness, you’re somehow supposed to start looking presentable again. And yet, if you’re anything like me, you looked in the mirror in Month 2 and felt like the woman starting at you in the reflection was nearly unrecognizable. But hey new mama, before you start browsing through Facebook pictures of your pre-baby self (guilty), just remember – YOU JUST GAVE BIRTH TO A HUMAN. That is insane and amazing if you let yourself believe it. And maybe, just maybe, it's okay to give your body a little bit of grace. 

"mommy-camouflauge" in action

Before having a baby, I knew it would be challenging for me to accept that my body would be different for awhile…and maybe stay a little different forever – and oh.my.was.i.right. Body image has never been my strong suit. At times, I've thrown health out the window and been filled with self-loathing over my lack of self-control. Other times, I've obsessed to an unhealthy degree over calories and "points" and steps and kettlebells. Today, I'm trying to find balance and it's a whole new world of fighting to appreciate my body, take care of my body, give it time to find a new normal, and say no to at least a few chocolate chip cookies along the way. I feel like motherhood is one big lesson in “everything is different and you’ll be okay”. But thank goodness for babies who love us no matter what - and even appreciate a little squish - and for husbands that keep complimenting us through hormones and stretchy pants. And can we also thank God for the built-in mommy-camouflage of strategically holding cute babies in front of slowly-shrinking tummies?

Postpartum body image is challenging and every time we’re in the grocery store (shout-out to the moms who make it to the grocery store) we’re bombarded with headlines about so-and-so celebrity mom who lost her baby weight got her six pack back planking in the hospital and then there’s Princess Kate who walked out of the hospital in HEELS for-crying-out-loud and hello, then there’s me, who basically rolled out of the hospital in a wheel chair and greasy hair. Let’s just go ahead and agree that those fourth trimester unicorns who lose all of their weight by blinking and breastfeeding are RARE and possibly lying to the world. One of these days, the rest of us will get back to a number on the scale we feel comfortable with and a body shape we can live with. Maybe it will be different – correction, it WILL be different - but different is okay, remember?

I’m reminded of Psalm 139 – a scripture we predominantly associate with our babies in pregnancy:

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” – Psalm 139:13

If God went to all that trouble knitting our babies together – don’t you think he spent some time knitting us and that womb of ours together too? Don’t you think that he knew what he was doing when he prepared us to give birth? I have to think that just as he was intimately involved in forming our babies – he was and is intimately involved in shaping the bodies that held those teeny little bodies too! And shame on me for undervaluing something that God knit together! This body never belonged to Rosie or I anyway – it is and always has been, God’s. And that little bit of truth makes all the difference for me.

So with that little tid-bit of post-baby-body perspective – what do we wear while in this beautifully in-between, function over fashion, constantly needing-to-nurse, and ever-evolving body stage?!Figuring out how to exclusively wear separates (for nursing reasons) has been a challenge I didn’t quite expect. I have come across a few staples and tips that are getting me through these days that I wanted to share with you! If you've followed my blog at all, you know that I'm a big believer in only buying things I can wear in multiple ways. I just don't have the budget for statement piece after statement piece. So prepare for a list of basics. Hopefully they give you some ideas of what to mix and match. *there is some sort of formatting snag so make sure to drag your arrow over the paragraphs to see ALL the links!*

1.       Go shopping. I know. It’s the last thing you want to do right now and it seems like a total waste of money. But having a little confidence is worth it. NONE of my shirts fit quite right after baby (to be quite honest, I'm four months in and they still don't!) and my maternity clothes were definitely not cutting it so I went out and bought a few shirts that I’ve worn non-stop for a few months. If you need to, sell some of your old clothes so you have some guilt-free spending money and closet space for the new items! I went through some of my winter clothing and decided to purge some sweaters and dresses that I just know that I won’t want to wear this season. And if I’m not going to wear them for a full year, what’s the point of keeping them??

2.       Tunic Tees. These tees are long enough and flattering with jeans or leggings. They are the perfect tunic length that you can wear at home or out of the house without compromising on modesty (yes please!!). I layer mine with cardigans, flannels, and basically everything I can think of. I love this shirt so much I have it in three colors (update, I bought a fourth while Christmas shopping the other day…I think I have a problem)! The best part? They are $9.99. For those of you preggos out there - I also wore them while pregnant! Another friend just sent me a link for these long-sleeved tunic shirts for $21 and they immediately went on my Christmas list! They sell these in virtually every color and I’m partial to the ¾ sleeve situation. I'm constantly in the market for long tops, tunics, etc that are an appropriate length with leggings. If you have any links, please send them my way! 

3.       Leggings. Since Rosie came on the scene, I've rediscovered the need for leggings. Between being constantly up and down on the floor with her for tummy time/diaper changes and a new stage of homebody-ness (and a sincere dislike for my old jeans), I've definitely needed a stretchy, easy, day-to-day option. My favorite pair is the Lou & Grey Essential Legging. They are just so soft and the perfect thickness! I also decided to bravely venture into the world of faux leather leggings. I know what you’re thinking: Yes, I’m basically Sandy from Grease (cue Amy Poehler in Mean Girls, “I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom…*wink*”). Jussst kidding. They’re leggings that like to party – and by “party” I mean, they complement my long tees for holiday church functions very nicely.

4.       Jogger jeans. So you’re sick of your maternity jeans but not ready to wiggle and streeeetch and suck your way into your skinny jeans – I give you, jogger drawstring denim! These were a lifesaver for me this summer and I am just as obsessed with them now (even as I’m able to get back into my other jeans). These are just so comfortable and the perfect transitional jean. They are also on sale! And they come in different colors/styles.

5.       Cozy + long cardigans. Again, I live in these. The need for comfort has never been more real and I’m convinced that one new cardigan a year will sustain my need for novelty through the never-ending Boston winter. With nursing, I’m also finding them even more essential. Here are a few I’m loving: this patterned just-right cocoon cardigan that I got on Black Friday for crazy cheap; this textured beauty that I spotted on Gap’s website (would loveee this number for Christmas), this cardi with the studs - I love its tough-girl vibe. Perfect for my cool-mom leggings, right?!

6.       New shoes! Okay so you don’t necessarily neeeeed these postpartum, but I bought myself a few pairs of shoes to reward myself post-baby because I felt like my clothing may not be as exciting as it used to be, but my feet can still be happy! I’m partial to the slip-on sneaker lately. I bought these slip-ons at Target and they are my absolute go-to’s for everyday right now. Also, my feet are slightly bigger than before?! I’m also mildly obsessed with these velvet beauties in “whipped pink” from LOFT…if someone can tell Santa aka my mom or my husband…. Also these!! Ballet flats kill my toes so give me all the smoking loafers puh-lease.

Thanks for joining me on this mildly embarrassing post-partum fashion journey. And please don't judge me if you see me wearing the same 6 pieces of clothing for the next two months. I know you won't though - judgement-free zone, right?!

xoxo

A + J

the one with that 70s flair

Culottes, wide-leg pants, cropped wide-legs, or whatever you wanna call 'em -- I think I {with extreme surprise to myself} am a believer. First of all, they have the lady-likeness and breeziness of a midi-skirt with the practicality of...well, pants. Secondly, they pair well with the boxy tops that have been so popular lately. Third, they make me feel like Barbara Streisand in a 1970's dramedy. Can you say, "BONUS"?!?

Anyway, I'm excited to see how these bad boys transition into the cooler months. And did I mention my mom almost bought them too (twinsies)? Cross-generational style for the win! But to be fair, I'm fairly sure she wore them in 1975...but in a tasteful orange plaid.

For more ideas on how to style wide leg pants, check out my Pinterest board, "wear" -- I've pinned several looks on there that I'm pretty crazy about.

Peplum top: Banana Republic Factory

Culotte (similar): Banana Republic Factory

Sandals: Target

Necklace: Francesca's

Lip Color: Magenta in Sephora Long-Lasting Luster Matte

xoxo

A+J

the one with the {sneak-er} attack

Four days ago, we were celebrating the warmest winter ever with lighter jackets and (gasp) NOT boots. We were basking in the whole "Punxsuatawney Phil did not see his shadow" situation and the promise of a speedy spring arrival. Turns out Ol' Punxsuawtawney Phil totally Punx'd us (groan-worthy pun intended). We've had two snowstorms in the last four days and the weather is going to be absolutely frigid for the rest of the week. But honestly, I'm not even that upset about it. I savored this year's unseasonable warmth with every fiber of my Southern being, but I still wanted just a few snuggly, cozy snow days. And now, I've experienced the best of both worlds! I'm still hoping for an early spring, but in the meantime, I'm counting down to wearing my new favorite accessories again - the comfiest, coolest, most Dad-basic shoes on the planet - New Balance sneakers. Last year, I pinned (and drooled over) a bunch of wintery outfits with trendy sneakers while Snowmageddon 2015 piled 8 feet of snow outside my door. But this year, my sister-in-law and her husband (actual sneaker experts) bought me a pair of New Balances for my birthday in January - and surprise of ALL surprises - I was actually able to wear them before April! So for all of you out there wondering how to style your cute, adorable sneakers BEFORE Phil cashes in on his spring promises, here ya go. And for those of you stuck in an igloo - I listed some other links to adorable sneakers for your consideration and future buying pleasure. Because honestly, sneakers are the new flats. And no, I'm not taking that back.

 Purse & Scarf: Old Navy

Jeans: Banana Republic Outlet

Sweater: Gap

Shoes: New Balance 696 Lakeview

Other Cute Sneaker Options for your Tuesday:

New Balance 574 - Ahhh these colors, though!! Literally my kitchen - but on a shoe. I could look at all of the different vintage-feeling New Balances for hours and still want more!

Nike Elite Shinsen - So old school it's insane

Nike Air Max 1 Ultra - Available in a bajillion colors but I'm especially digging the plum. It just reminds me of something delightfully 80s and super girly all at once. 

Nike Juvenate - These have turquoise polka-dots on them. This is not a drill.

Happy Sneaker-Hunting!
xoxo
A+J

{exotic} pants in not-so-exotic places

One of the perks of being a campus minister with 70 plus young women? Sometimes they're from exotic foreign countries and bring you cool, billowy pants! And of course, I chose to wore these pants on an equally billowy day (ahem, see above). And how do you pair said exotic pants in a city very far from exotic? Simply; with a black tee, chunky necklace, denim jacket, and sandals worn approximately 3 weeks too early (worth it, my toes got to breeeeathe!). Originally, I thought these pants would be more of the beach cover-up variety but after trying them on, I've decided that they're comfortable and perfect and that I should wear them as often as possible! And these harem pants definitely deserve more than a brief trip to the beach:) 

 I know that some of you may not be as lucky in the exotic-friend department so I did a little research for you...and now I'm on the verge of a harem pant buying binge! Enjoy.

These black-and-white ones from H&M

Love this pattern from Abercrombie (they have lots of cool options - all on sale!)

And this fancier version from Express

xoxo

A+J

PS I'm selling some spring clothes over on my Instagram account (@alexandraghoman) all week. Check it out and help me do some spring cleaning!

the one where i wore white {after Labor Day}

Let's talk about the beginning of fall, shall we? When I lived in Georgia, there was virtually zero difference between the last day of summer and the first day of fall. I tried my best to transition my wardrobe (and my attitude) - but it generally took until October for me to feel like I could genuninely welcome autumn. But here in New England, the difference is a little more stark. The air feels crisp in mid-September, you need a jacket for every degree of difference, and you feel societally obligated to start eating copious amounts of apple pie/crisp/cider/cider donuts/you-name-it-I-want-to-eat-it. We gradually start saying goodbye to outdoor cook-outs, the laid-back summer schedule, shorts and tank-tops, and last but (definitely) not least - the heat.

But one thing I'm not saying goodbye to this fall? White denim. {Somewhere, some traditional elderly lady just fainted from shock.} Allow me to free you from one of fashion's biggest faux pas - I, Alexandra Ghoman, hereby declare on the 29th of September, that it is indeed acceptable to wear white after Labor Day. I don't know if you already knew this - but wearing white in the fall has been fine (and even considered cool) for awhile now. There's something so clean and edgy about pairing fall's deeper tones with stark white. So, along with wishing summer farewell and welcoming all of fall's delightful traditions and foods - I dare you to welcome rule-breaking and faux-pas bending right along with me! Everything, including the old ladies, will be fine. I promise:)

Jacket: Cichic.com

Plaid shirt: Old Navy

Necklace: Target

Jeans: Gap

Booties: Baker's

Happy fall, everyone!

xoxo

A+J

the one with the {summer shoe}

It's hard to believe that summer is coming to a close. The air already feels more crisp and all I can say is: I'M NOT READY! Am I the only one?! But anyway, here I am trying my best to soak up the last month or so of summer heels, bold patterns, and sleeveless shirts.This summer, I went on the hunt for the perfect summer heel. I find that wedges are either waaay too tall or kitten heel short (ugh). But these were the perfect height! And affordable too. I sold my wedges to a consignment store and coupon'ed my way to an Old Navy heel purchase. And these I'll keep for many years to come:) What about you? What's your favorite summer shoe? 

Top - Forever 21

Pants - H&M

Shoes - Old Navy

the one with the {garment probation}

An outfit that you can wear to church AND a picnic afterwards?! I have your impossibility right here, people. And it's found in a romper of all garments? Yep, miracles do happen.

I bought this romper several years ago while studying abroad in London. It's one of those pieces that I've thought about selling to a consignment store multiple times because: the back is odd (currently hidden by the cardigan), it used to fit a little tight (huzzah to health!), and I kept wondering if rompers were still cool. But I've kept the piece because: it's long enough to be appropriate without tights - a true romper feat, am I right? -, the romper is colorful, and it's made of a nicer fabric so it can be dressed up or down.

For church, I paired it with this bright pink cardigan and statement necklace. So for now, it's off the must-sell list and currently on probation. We'll see how long it lasts:) Please ignore the wrinkles. I chose not to photoshop it out because - you know, authenticity and all that jazz. Oh, and the fact that I don't know how!

Happy Thursday, everyone! 

A+J

Romper: Top Shop (old)

Cardigan: J.Crew factory

Necklace: Forever21

Sandals: Target

{apple picking + the autumn basics}

After yesterday's autumnal events, I think that I can finally say that I am a real New Englander. I picked apples (for the first time!), ate melt-in-your-mouth apple cider donuts, and made an apple pie (also a first). Now, before you get to thinking that I'm abandoning my Southern roots - I also said "y'all" multiple times and kept up-to-date about the Bulldawgs' injuries in Saturday's game. See there? I'm the same girl - but just, New England-a-fied. We had so much fun with two of our best friends, Jon and Rachel, as we soaked up the incredible fall day - gosh, I love Monday's:) 

Now getting dressed for such an occassion is a whole other matter entirely. Would I be climbing? Would it be muddy? After realizing that my chivalrous husband would be all too pleased to climb trees - I breathed a sigh of relief and wore whatever I wanted:) I'm always big on buying basic pieces that are interesting enough to wear and rewear a thousand different ways. I'm too broke for many statement pieces!Two of the latest additions to my wardrobe are this denim vest and this white cut-out shirt. I'm loving the possibilities both of them are giving me. The key to my New England wardrobe is simple - can I layer it? Will it look good with a scarf? These two new pieces passed the test and made me feel cute and feminine for a day in the orchard.  

Denim Vest: Old Navy

Cut-out Shirt: Forever 21 (similar)

Navy Cords: J. Crew Factory

Red Flats: Old, similar

xoxo

Happy Autumn!

the one with Kendi {and some totally awesome Old Navy jeans}

A month ago, I experienced what it's like to be a giggly, excited fan-girl. I got to meet my favorite blogger, Kendi Skeen of Kendi Everyday, -- and if that wasn't enough, she personally styled me and my Boston bestie, Amber! Although we attempted to act oh-so-cool, I'm pretty sure our constant squealing and hyperventelating outted us as total nerds:) Please forgive me for not telling you sooner - I think the excitment of it all put some pressure on my writing juices to post the perfect post to mark the occassion. I finally admitted to myself that if I waited any longer it would no longer matter anyway - because it would be awkwardly irrelevant! So anyways, after following Kendi's blog for several years - laughing at her jokes, admiring her style, and commiserating with her (albeit virtually) in hard moments - I felt like I was meeting an old friend. Kendi herself is the most down-to-earth person imaginable and her actual friends are some lucky folks! We talked about everything from wedding bands to cameras to the south (southern girls unite) and I felt like I could have picked her brain for several more hours. It's a pretty incredible feeling to find out that your cyber fashion hero is a genuinely fantastic person:)  

But it wasn't just fun to meet Kendi - it was a blast getting styled by her and getting some brand new clothes for the fall! Kendi dressed Amber and I in matching polka-dot chambray shirts, zipper ankle jeans and red flats and accessories. Twinsies! Interestingly enough, Old Navy has been my go-to for jeans for years now. In college I was constantly on the look-out for jeans that didn't lose their shape hours after putting them on. Come on, admit it, you too have been a victim of the "saggy butt" at the end of a day too. Hawt. So anyway, several years ago I discovered the Diva jeans (heyyyy) at Old Navy - and my end-of-the-day saggy bottom probs vanished! Other bonus? They're less than $30. So when I heard about Kendi AND Old Navy Jeans teaming up - I was pumped. The new jeans are stretchier than I'm used to but I'm loving them so far. They're just so comfortable! At the end of our styling session, the pop up shop put bright lipstick on Amber and I and out we went - feeling fabulous and ready for autumn. Denim on denim by Old Navy and Kendi Everyday - I would say this season is off to a pretty great start:) 

Another cool thing? Kendi even had a photo of Amber and I on her blog - check it out HERE!

Obligatory "we're-so-excited" selfie after we found out that Kendi wanted to style us both!

Twinsies + Kendi. So fun.

I was simply too pumped for a serious fashion-outfit-face.

Thanks Kendi and Old Navy for a fantastic memory and some great clothes!

{pattern me polka}

Well, I did it: I boldly braved the wild world of patterned pants. And I have to say, it went much better than  anticipated. As a girl who is not....shall I say, pint-sized...on the bottom half of her frame, I was a little skeptical of the whole trend. But what I found is that if they fit right (and these fit surprisingly well!), then who cares?! Bring on the patterns, people! Patterns for everyone!

I decided to pair them with a basic top and let the pant-belt combo be the main event. All in all, I'm really excited to keep these in my summer rotation.

Another reason to love them:
a) they were on sale for $13!
b) they came with that orange belt (that I have since become obsessed with)
c) they forced me to wear heels - which I never do.
d) J picked them out. He was quite proud of himself.

Pants and belt: Target
Top: Old Navy (old)
Wedges: Consignment

the denim jacket confessional

True life: I've had my Gap denim jacket for 13 years. That's right:I just admitted to owning a piece of clothing for more than half of my life. I'm not sure if that makes me incredibly resourceful or incredibly cheap. In college, I once did a project where we had to judge articles of clothing by cost per wear. This jacket was in the half penny range - score. Needless to say, I'm pretty satisfied with this Christmas gift of yore. I love that denim jackets always seem to come back in style and I'm even more grateful that I never got rid of it when it was "uncool" for about 5 minutes. So to all of you out there who are still wondering if investing in a denim jackets is worth it: take it from me, they are. They are the perfect thing to go with summery dresses, layer with fall sweaters, and match with colored jeans. In the case of this outfit - the jacket is also the perfect thing to make you feel like a beatnik for a night. Double score. 

If I wasn't so obsessed with my own....I would definitely buy one of these bad boys: 

JCrew Factory's lighter shade and slightly over-sized pockets make this the perfect choice for a dress-down layering look. 

Anthropologie's interesting wash gives me an 80's flash back but in a totally rad way.

Gap's dark wash still makes me swoon. These people know how to make the perfect classic.

Happy Denim-Jacket Season (ahem, every season)!

xoxo

A+J

the one where winter never ended

They tell me that today is the first day of spring. I think Boston forgot. For one thing - there are piles of fresh snow on the ground. For another, my spring-like outfit is obstructed by my puffy coat, scarf and hat.

I considered posting today about all the things I dislike about the month of March (all of which are weather related) but remembered that God tells us not to complain. Which I desperately need to remember. Then I thought about posting about all the things I love about March - but that felt artificial. 

So I finally decided to post this: Today is the first day of spring. 

Here is what I wanted to wear: 

This is how it turned out:

Here is what I actually wore:

Here are the very old boots that are tired of being worn:

So there you have it folks. A southern girl choosing to make the best of a never-ending winter. Because at the end of the day - we all have a lot to be grateful for:)

Shirt: JCrew Factory
Sweater: Wallace (via gift)
Jeans: Old Navy
Bracelets: Alix & Ani/Anthro
Boots: Urban
Hat: Target

the one with the redemption

Although I'm sure you're dying to see all that I did over the holiday weekend (just kidding, I know your instagrams, facebooks, etc have already been thoroughly bombarded by your friends'/other bloggers' posts) -  I know that what you really want to know is how I fared over Black Friday. Did I break my vow? If you're wondering what the heck I'm talking about - then you can read my recent fashion vow post here.

First of all, I'm happy to report that I've worn my own (feminine) clothes every day this week. Since I've been freeeezing up here in Boston - it's been tough to stick to my own clothing options - but I've made lots of effort! And over the holiday weekend I even took some photos to prove it. Special thank you to all of you (J included) who have been forcing me to stick to my vow - I never knew how much you all detested my bad habits until I posted about it:)

Photo 1: shirt (thrifted), sweater (Gap last year), jeans (old navy), necklace, (consignment)

Photo 2: sweater (Gap), colored jeans (Gap outlet)

Photo 3: ruffled shirt (LOFT), sweater (LOFT), cords (JCrew Factory)

*In other news: the angle of these pictures is oh-so-unflattering. Vow #2 - stop taking photos like these*

And how did I survive the Black Friday shopping craze? Well, again, I just barely escaped the clenches of men's clothing sales and instead I bought two feminine shirts - one from Target and one from LOFT. They're adorable and flattering...finally! I'll post those later. J, on the other hand, bought some reallyyyy soft shirts during the sales and I haven't tried to steal them yet. It's nearly been the death of me.

Is it breaking my vow if I just wear them once... if I didn't buy them personally? Shhh, don't tell:)

And just in case you DO care about our Thanksgiving - here's a picture from our very first Thanksgiving as husband and wife. We like to keep it bright:) 

the one with the confession...

It's official: I need help. 

I have worn something from the men's department EVERYDAY this week. 

Things are getting out of hand. 

It all began junior year of college. I began searching the men's sale section regularly (predominately in the Gap) and I soon acquired a collection of button downs, henleys, some thermals, several hoodies, a pair of sweatpants, etc. Now married to a boy with even more flannels, sweatshirts, thermals, and cool sweaters - my obsession has reached problematic proportions. I have constant access to shapeless, warm, and comfortable clothing! To be fair, I always try to feminize my menswear with pearl earrings, cute hair, statement necklaces, skinny jeans, etc. But let's be honest - you can only get away with the boy-gone-girly look so often. I'm turning something that would be mildly chic on a bi-weekly basis into a daily lumberjack routine. 

Oh dear. 

That being said - I, Alexandra Joy Ghoman, hereby vow to stop buying men's clothing for the foreseeable future....even if said future holds the softest, most affordable shirt/sweater combo I've seen in months (I'm literally cringing writing these words). And I also promise to limit my purchases to feminine items that will balance my shapeless, overly-comfortable style. However, these new items will also work with my typical style. After all, "Rome wasn't dressed in a day"....or something like that. 

Some of the things I'll be looking for as I embark on my new fashion journey....fun dresses, interesting tops, blending of styles, etc. 

  

  

The first is from girlsack.com, second is from Gap, the last is from Ruche.

First is from Kendi Everyday, second is from LOFT, and third is from the Daybook Blog. 

Wish me luck;)