the one where i pulled the plug

*not a post on euthanasia* 

In mid-June, I temporarily deactivated my Facebook. It was my first time deactivating since joining Facebook back in 2006 -- you know, back when you had to have a college email address to create a profile? Over the course of my 10 year Facebook career they've invented about a thousand other ways to keep us connected.They added news feeds, opened registration to moms and grandmas the world over, created the chat and messenger features. But in my case, these tools of connection threatened to turn into something a little more sinister - a method of comparison.

So back to June: I was reading this book, and the author asked where we turn in times of anxiety and stress. She asked if we turned to social media to self-medicate - or if we turned to God. It was a question I already knew the answer to. I turned to social media. And inevitably, at the end of these scrolling sessions, I would leave feeling dissatisfied, even more discouraged, and increasingly self-focused. I saw someone's latest adventure and felt dissatisfaction for my own life creeping in. I would read someone's great, beautiful news and be tempted with jealousy. I saw another person's opinion laid bare about some news story or political event and begin to get stressed out. Isn't it amazing how many temptations can come up from a simple scroll?! 

So right then and there, I did something I had been unwilling to do for a long time -- 

I disconnected. 

{Cue my husband doing a happy dance and nearly instantaneous relief washing over me}

Here's what I discovered in my time off Facebook: 

• The world didn't end because I didn't know about so-and-so's engagement or watch so-and-so's hilarious video. In fact, I felt free to enjoy living in my reality rather than someone else's. 

• The birthdays I really needed to know, I remembered/saw them on Instagram/apologized if I was a little late. And guess what?? No one was angry with me! Another valuable life lesson - people aren't usually angry with you for not knowing things :) 

• I had more time to be more present in the real world. I followed more news stories and got a little more educated on the world at large rather than the lives of acquaintances over the Internet. 

• There are plenty of ways to reach me outside of Facebook messenger. Can we all just agree that messenger is the WORST? I'm bad enough at responding to emails in a timely fashion much less an entirely different medium that needs its own separate app!  So anyway, it was nice to finally not disappoint someone for a little while.

• There's something liberating about not knowing. "Sorry I don't have Facebook," became my favorite sentence. All of the sudden, I was free of my 21st century, self-imposed expectation to be constantly "plugged in."  It was inexplicably freeing  find out information a little late - or even, gasp!, not at all. I found I worried about people a little less and trusted God to take care of them a little more. I prayed rather than investigated their Facebook posts. I prayed...and then maybe checked Instagram...but really and truly, my anxiety level went down. 

• Facebook stalking is a sport I will never be in good enough shape for. I think you know what I'm talking about: Your best friend's profile leads to someone else's profile and pretty soon you're down the rabbit hole of someone's cousin twice removed who lives atop a mountain in France with her model husband and chunky baby (with dimples) - and oh look!, she's got another on the way! Before you know it you're coveting someone's life in French and needing to get open with a friend about your secret shame...but then afraid of judgement. Then, you spend the next half hour determining if your Facebook profile pictures look as cool as that couple with a baby on a european mountaintop - change it 15 times, "maybe that one pic of me studying abroad 7 years ago still looks hip?" - only to change it back to the one with you and your dog because - everyone likes a good puppy pic, right? Whew. See what I'm talking about?? EXHAUSTING. And I needed a break (ahem, repentance!) from my severe cyber-stalking.

**disclaimer: I decided to keep Instagram and Twitter. On those mediums, I follow a limited number of people and therefore, have found it less of a black-hole of comparison.**

• Bottom line, I learned that I wanted more for my life than what social media offers. Going forward, my life should be more than a collection of well-curated images, more than witty statements made in 140 characters or less, and more than "likes." After all, I follow Jesus and I'm pretty sure a lot of people wouldn't have "liked" his posts (And believe me, I don't mean this in a high and mighty way - but rather as one of the worst offenders!). I want to do better. I want to be better. Yes, I still want good pictures, fun trips, and dare-I-say-it, approval from those I love - but I hope and pray that I get to a place where those things matter less and less to my own sense of worthiness. I hope and pray that my ego learns to takes a back seat. Who cares what image I present on the internet if the image of Christ isn't the first thing I'm portraying? How easily I had forgotten (ahem, keep forgetting) that my image and my worthiness are not measured in comparison to another person's. Rather, I've exchanged my tattered, too-stretched, ever-flawed image for the unchanging image of Jesus. I've exchanged human approval for the approval of God - and he has already deemed me good enough, valuable, and loved.

 So fast-forward to August and I'm back on Facebook but with a new-found perspective and some self-imposed boundaries. Why go back, you ask? Well, primarily, because it's helpful for my job in the ministry (we use Facebook as our primary mode of communication for announcements with our students) and also because I missed the good pieces of it - swapping life stories (and even sharing my blog) on it! So anyway, here I come Facebook! But beware, if you mess with me again, this time -- I won't be afraid to pull the plug.

What about you? Could a little Facebook break be just what the doctor ordered? :) 

the one about a pup named {Huck}

Elise Orlowski Photography

Three months ago, this little fella came into our lives. We have learned lots of things since getting our Olde English Bulldogge -- but here are 10 of the most important.

1. There's no time to {pee} like the present -- House-training puppies is not for the faint of heart. Waking up in the middle of the night, taking him out right after he wakes up (after napping approximately every single hour), learning that barking gleefully is actually a strangled cry for emergen-pee, stopping every conversation with house-guests 10 times per hour to let pup out, clean up pee, or exclaim, "PLEASE! NOOOOO! JUST HOLD IT....aw, dangit."...and clean it up all over again.  

2. One man's trash, another {canine's} treasure -- Toys are fun, bottles are significantly MORE fun. Probably because they seem like something forbidden to the little terror. At one point in young Huck's life, he was up to at least 5 different size plastic bottles scattered around the house. He continues to sneak into the pantry, steal bottles, and trot out like he has conquered his own personal Everest. 

3. Snoring with your eyes open confuses the humans -- So does grunting like a little piggy. 

4. Who's your Alpha? -- Playing Who's the Boss? with your 11 week old puppy is a lot less exciting than it seems and you find yourself googling Cesar Milan tips and pinning puppy training tricks for a solid couple of hours per week. Eventually, he looks at you with those sad puppy dog eyes and you have to pin him down in spite of yourself.   

Huck thinks he owns the place. Specifically, my cozy, birthday fort.

5. I found the friendly New Englanders -- Usually, Bostonians follow a strict, "Don't-Smile / Don't Wave" policy when walking down the street. But ever since we've gotten Huck, all of that has gone out the window. People smile, girls shriek, and everyone reaches out their hands for a pet, snuggle, and tummy-rub. It's the weirdest, most delightful way to make friends I've ever experienced. I'm savoring my pup-ularity for as long as it lasts. 

6. The Case of the Pink Sock -- Three days ago, I lost a pink sock. Today, we thought Huck vomited  up an internal organ. And then, we realized it looked remarkably like polyester. Five minutes after sanitizing the fake-organ, Huck pranced in the room with a blue sock in his mouth. We are currently accepting Sock-Rehab Center recommendations. 

7. No lap is too small for a ever-growing, snuggle-loving bulldog -- Huck's face describes exactly how you feel when your mother has the audacity to suggest you're getting too big for her lap. 

8. If you can take your baby, I can take my puppy -- I smuggled Huck into Target. There, I said it. No regrets. 

9. It Takes a Village -- Letting a dog out every four hours is HARD. How do people with normal jobs have puppies?!! Thank goodness for friends, college students, and neighbors who have a love for you (or maybe just your freckled-nose bullie) that is completely undeserved. 

10. Puppy Paws, Wiggle-Bottoms, and Sad Eyes -- It's been a tough few months for the Ghoman family, and although puppies don't make everything better - they certainly make most things better and all things more bearable. Thanks for making our hearts happy and our home more messy, Hucklebaby. We're glad we get to keep you. 

Fergie Medar Photography

xoxo

A+J

the one with all the {remembering}

Ever had a season where things weren't quite what you expected? A time when you expected glory and victory only to be met with struggle and straining? Although I wish we could just go from strength to strength in our spiritual walk, it seems like we typically go from mountaintop to valley and valley to mountaintop over and over again. And during the valleys, I immediately forget the glory of the mountaintop! Instead, (and maybe I'm the only one), I bemoan the valley like I've never ever EVER reached a summit at all! A tad dramatic, right? Well, as I've been reflecting on this truth, I've come across something interesting in the Scriptures that I wanted to share this morning. 

Have you ever noticed that God constantly retells the same stories in Scripture? Repeatedly, he reminds the Israelites of his exploits on their behalf - that he chose their forefather Abraham, that he led them out of Egypt and through the Red Sea, that he rescued them and brought them into the Promised Land. I mean really, it's 500 years later and he's still telling them the SAME story! You know why he does that? Because they're still amazing! 

It's not that God is trying to be his own hype man or that he's being like that weird relative who keeps telling you about his "glory days" of yore (Uncle Rico, anyone?). No, he's trying to remind them - and present-day followers -  that he's powerful, that he's able, that he's still worthy of their trust. And not only that, he's reminding us that he is still capable of doing miracles in our lives today! 

I will remember the deeds of the Lord;

yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. 

I will meditate on all your works

and consider all your mighty deeds. 

- Psalm 77:11-12

What about your mountaintop stories? Do you remember when God parted the Red Sea in your life? Do you remember the chains of sin he set you free from? What about the answered prayers you've witnessed or the things you've seen him do in the lives of your friends, family members, fellow Christians? 

Remembrance is a powerful thing. It helps us to keep going and keep trusting in difficult circumstances. It reminds us that things can change and that God has helped us overcome before - and he can certainly help us to overcome again. 

With all this in mind, I bought myself a new journal (is there any greater thrill?), and dedicated it to one thing and one thing only - remembrance. All week, I've been sitting down and writing the things I've seen God do in my life. I've written down the big, obvious things and I've written the things that seem insignificant now, but were HUGE at another point in life. I don't want to forget any of it. 

As I've been writing these victories down, my faith has been strengthened. After all, the same God who orchestrated the victories of the past is certainly capable of doing so again! I'll eventually reach another mountaintop, but in the meantime I can rejoice in what the Lord already done for me. I have plenty of lessons to learn in the valley and miracles to reflect on as I wait. 

I hope this has been helpful. 

Happy Thursday!

xoxo

A+J

the one with the 5 truths

My first-ever favorite blogger and dear friend, Marilisa over at Young Love in Normaltown, tagged me in this the other day and I thought I would take it on too. Now, I know what you're thinking - I don't exactly hold back the truth. In fact, maybe you feel like I "over-share" on my blog. Which leads me to the first truth:

Truth One//

Ever since I was a little girl, I've been somewhat of an over-sharer. What do I mean by that? I mean that I absolutely and completely must share my every thought with someone in order to feel emotionally validated or absolved of some sort of guilt from the day. My poor mother used to be the sole recipient of all my ridiculous musings but now I try to share the wealth (God - he's the best confidant, my husband, sister, best friends, and even the occasional acquaintance). All of these lucky people now get to enjoy the inner-workings of my tangled up, overly-analytical mind:)

Truth Two//

I need alone time. Like I really need it. Like my poor husband had no idea how much I needed alone time until I wasn't getting it. I think that it has to do with the fact that my parents traveled a ton when I was in high school (and my siblings were much older and didn't live at home) so I was by myself a lot. I grew to cherish being by myself. I loved having the whole house to myself - to cook, to watch television, to relax. It became my favorite thing and it kind of stuck. Even though I'm extrovert - I've become a closet-introvert. And I'm learning to accept that sometimes I need to be alone. Like right now for instance:) 

Truth Three//

I eat out way too much. Like really. Why I can't manage to bring lunch with me more often astounds me. I think it's because I genuinely find lunch the most boring meal of the day when eaten at home. I mean seriously, a sandwich? That's no fun! Where's the interest? The pizzazz? I know what you're thinking - "It's lunch. Who needs a pizzazzy lunch?" Well...I DO! It pains me to say this, but I would guess that a majority of my money (outside of rent) has gone to buying meals out over the course of my life. Which is totally depressing if you think about it. I could have so many more cute clothes if I had learned to stop buying lunch long ago!! No more pizzazz! 

Truth Four//

I'm a humongo klutz. My family jokes that I used to make the entire house shake with my crazy falls (which also leads me to believe that I weighed 400 lbs as a child). When I lived in NYC I would consistently trip UP the stairs of the subway. I often trip when wearing my Ugg boots (Yes, I realize they're unattractive. And no, I don't care). I typically fall in front of people. Or alone. So basically all the time. I like to think that my lack of coordination gives others around me a) a little bit of self-confidence b) a chuckle c) a chance to act like the Good Samaritan and help a sistah out. 

Truth Five//

In my opinion, the worst/best feeling in the world is laughing when you know you shouldn't be laughing. Know what I mean? Like have you ever been sitting in a stiff classroom or in a church service and suddenly something strikes you as funny...or you're sitting next to a friend that is definitely a bad influence in the joke department? One minute, everything is fine and you're paying attention and minding your own business and then the next minute - the awkward joke or ridiculous moment occurs. At first, you try to hold it in. And then, your shoulders start to shake. And that's when you know you're in for it. The shoulders get worse and worse...you can't breathe and then finally there it is - an audible and completely disruptive...SNORT. And then you think to yourself - "MY LIFE!!! Hello everyone, I'm 25 years old and still incapable of keeping it together in public." Best and worst feeling ever:)

I tag: Kayci, Braelen, and Susan:)

And just in case you needed this reminder on this beautiful Monday:

Cheers!
xoxo