the one about a pup named {Huck}

Elise Orlowski Photography

Three months ago, this little fella came into our lives. We have learned lots of things since getting our Olde English Bulldogge -- but here are 10 of the most important.

1. There's no time to {pee} like the present -- House-training puppies is not for the faint of heart. Waking up in the middle of the night, taking him out right after he wakes up (after napping approximately every single hour), learning that barking gleefully is actually a strangled cry for emergen-pee, stopping every conversation with house-guests 10 times per hour to let pup out, clean up pee, or exclaim, "PLEASE! NOOOOO! JUST HOLD IT....aw, dangit."...and clean it up all over again.  

2. One man's trash, another {canine's} treasure -- Toys are fun, bottles are significantly MORE fun. Probably because they seem like something forbidden to the little terror. At one point in young Huck's life, he was up to at least 5 different size plastic bottles scattered around the house. He continues to sneak into the pantry, steal bottles, and trot out like he has conquered his own personal Everest. 

3. Snoring with your eyes open confuses the humans -- So does grunting like a little piggy. 

4. Who's your Alpha? -- Playing Who's the Boss? with your 11 week old puppy is a lot less exciting than it seems and you find yourself googling Cesar Milan tips and pinning puppy training tricks for a solid couple of hours per week. Eventually, he looks at you with those sad puppy dog eyes and you have to pin him down in spite of yourself.   

Huck thinks he owns the place. Specifically, my cozy, birthday fort.

5. I found the friendly New Englanders -- Usually, Bostonians follow a strict, "Don't-Smile / Don't Wave" policy when walking down the street. But ever since we've gotten Huck, all of that has gone out the window. People smile, girls shriek, and everyone reaches out their hands for a pet, snuggle, and tummy-rub. It's the weirdest, most delightful way to make friends I've ever experienced. I'm savoring my pup-ularity for as long as it lasts. 

6. The Case of the Pink Sock -- Three days ago, I lost a pink sock. Today, we thought Huck vomited  up an internal organ. And then, we realized it looked remarkably like polyester. Five minutes after sanitizing the fake-organ, Huck pranced in the room with a blue sock in his mouth. We are currently accepting Sock-Rehab Center recommendations. 

7. No lap is too small for a ever-growing, snuggle-loving bulldog -- Huck's face describes exactly how you feel when your mother has the audacity to suggest you're getting too big for her lap. 

8. If you can take your baby, I can take my puppy -- I smuggled Huck into Target. There, I said it. No regrets. 

9. It Takes a Village -- Letting a dog out every four hours is HARD. How do people with normal jobs have puppies?!! Thank goodness for friends, college students, and neighbors who have a love for you (or maybe just your freckled-nose bullie) that is completely undeserved. 

10. Puppy Paws, Wiggle-Bottoms, and Sad Eyes -- It's been a tough few months for the Ghoman family, and although puppies don't make everything better - they certainly make most things better and all things more bearable. Thanks for making our hearts happy and our home more messy, Hucklebaby. We're glad we get to keep you. 

Fergie Medar Photography

xoxo

A+J

A+J's {semi} sarcastic guide to cruising

Earlier this summer, Jesse and I got to take a special vacation all over the Caribbean with two of our best friends. When we got married, we always planned to take a special trip in Year 3, so after much consideration - we decided on a cruise! Originally, we wanted to go to Europe but quickly realized that with our particular line of work, the idea of packing 7 to 10 days with walking and exploring and cutlure-ing was far less appealing than lying on a beach and eating a LOT of food. What can I say? We know our strengths. 

After one week-long cruise, I am definitely not an expert. However, I do have some basic insights to offer.

And I give you,

A+J's Semi-Sarcastic Guide to Cruising

1. Go with friends and enjoy the constant laughter that will ensue when trapped on a boat in the middle of a beautiful ocean.

2. Take advantage of the unlimited food option...meaning, order three appetizers, two entrees, three desserts every evening. This is not a drill!

3. Work out at overly-mirrored gym (for motivation, see above).

4. Frequent the nightly the Dive-In-Movie (movies, under the stars, by the pool, need I say more?). *We may or may not have watched The Fault In Our Stars and may or may not have sobbed uncontrollably.*

5. Realize that you NEVER have to wait in line for a buffet meal - you can go to the dining room and feel fancy every single day. 

6. Plan your own on-shore excursions. Except when you're in Belize... 

7. DO dress up for formal nights...or risk feeling awkward around some of the people taking it waaaay to seriously.

8. Allow your husband to graciously treat you to an afternoon at the spa! Life. Changing.

9. Take far too many photos on your smart phone and try not to mock those who insist on prom-posing for the on-board ones with the fake backgrounds.

10. Take naps. Because all that eating and doing nothing is really SO exhausting!

setting sail from Miami

adventuring in Honduras

Grand Cayman

So thankful for a wonderful week with incredible friends and a wonderful husband! In summary, I highly recommend cruising. We had a really great time:) 

xoxo

A+J

the one where i got {God} all wrong

"Growing spiritually" can sound a little generic, Christian-y, and virtually meaningless in our modern religious world, can't it? It can be easy to talk the talk of faith and devotion but much harder to sit down and actaully meditate on our connection with the Maker. But there's something about the changing of the seasons that helps me to stop and consider these deeper subjects. As I've been doing that, I've had some realizations that have awed and unnerved me all at once. Maybe they'll encourage you as much as they've been changing me. 

While Jesse and I were in Florida last month, we spent a lot of time talking with my parents about everything from marriage, to our cities, and to our lives in the ministry. During our last dinner (dad's famous steak, of course), we started discussing me and my guilt-ridden self. To be perfectly honest, Jesse MADE me talk to my parents about it...I pretended to be annoyed but I was actually incredibly relieved to talk with them - J knows best:) As it happens, my dad happens to be a recovering guilty-soul himself so he had a lot of insights to share. 

As we talked about what I was feeling, it was clear that my understanding of God and his character had gotten very....off. At some point over my 12 years as a disciple, I started believing that the Father we serve looks at me with ambivalence or worse, displeasure. And that he feels this way all or most of the time! This one lie, this one thought, had started to define and corrupt our relationship. And the more I've opened up about my adherence to this lie - the more I've started realizing that I'm not the only one who believes it.

When I sit down to study the Bible with people for the first time and talk about Christianity, I love turning to Matthew 7:7-11.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

I love this passage because it offers a guarantee of sorts - if we ask something of God - he's going to respond with kindness and grace. But this passage also forces us to consider how we view and look at God - do we view him as a loving father who wants to give us what seek? Or as a rude being who desires to give us a snake and "teach us a lesson"? Of course, I want my answer to be the former - but if I'm being honest, I intellectually know that God is a loving father but I can typically feel like he's the second guy - not totally pleased with me, intending to withhold good things, and typically bent on teaching me something the hard way. 

Sounds like an appealing God to follow, right?

Now where did this warped and twisted thinking come from, you ask? Is it the result of a relationship in my life? Or the culture I grew up in? Is it from my intense perfectionism? Or a weird interaction I had as a kid? Maybe. But I don't think so. The best I can tell - it is a lie as old as time and it started many, many years ago in the Garden of Eden. 

When that snake (ahem, Satan) tempted Eve in the Garden, he convinced her to eat from the tree God banned by convincing her that God was holding out on her, that he wasn't fully letting her in, that he didn't like or love her enough to give her everything in the garden. Now, was that true? Of course not! God was protecting Eve. He was trying to keep her safe from sin and shame and keep her completely and utterly close to him. But she believed the lie. She believed that God was holding back on her and it changed our connection to Him forever. 

Isn't that the same lie that you and I can believe at times? That God is holding back on us? That he doesn't like us enough to give us what we so desperately want? That maybe, just maybe he doesn't love us completely?

As I talked with my parents about some of these things, it became obvious that I needed a perspective overhaul and a reminder of who God really and truly is. It was time to stop exclusively meditating on the "what" of my Christianity and start focusing on the "who". Since that conversation, I've started studying out Jesus' character (I highly recommend the book Jesus the Same -- amazing!!) and remembering God's love for me everyday in my prayers. I keep reading and rereading Romans 8:31-39, willing myself to remember that God's love for me does not vary with my performance, my behavior, or my effectiveness as a disciple. Nothing can separate me from God's love! My dad has also taken it upon himself to send me different verses everyday about God's love and mercy - it's the sweetest thing in the world and my favorite use of iMessage ever:) 

All at once, I'm remembering that God's love is the ultimate reason and motivation for becoming and staying a Christian; it's the answer to our hurting world. Now don't get me wrong - I still whole-heartedly believe that God cares about our actions and our repentance. In fact, I'm convinced of that now more than ever! But I'm also realizing that his love grants you and I the freedom to try to please him all the more - without the fear of failure or the risk of loss. A complete, unshakeable, and unending love like this can provide us with a God-given confidence to face our weaknesses head on, give our hearts to others more fully, and step out on faith like never before. His love can propel us towards righteousness and growth more than duty or obligation ever will! 

I'm not sure if this is something you needed to hear on this September Friday -- but it sure is changing me. I hope that you find some time to bask in the total love of our Maker this weekend. It's incomparable.

xoxo

A+J

Romans 8:31-39

the one about our {second year}

Two years! Today marks two years married and I can't believe it. 

We just got back from vacationing in sunny and perfect Florida. For the first time ever, I'm fairly tan and for the millionth time ever - Jesse is incredibly dark. While we were there, we celebrated our anniversary at the Breakers Resort in Palm Beach. I can sum up the Breakers in one word and three syllables: AH-MAZ-ING. We turned off our phones and enjoyed the finer things in life - beautiful pools, delicious food, a TV inside the mirror of the bathroom (yes that's a thing, yes it's frivolous, and yes I want one). We are sooo thankful for friends with hotel discounts -- we had a wonderful time! 

The Breakers at night. Stunning!

Our view from the pool looking out onto the Atlantic.

My favorite thing about Year 2 as Mrs. Ghoman? Really and truly becoming best friends with my husband. That may sound weird but I mean it. Before we got married, I thought we were best friends - but to be honest - I was still probably closer to my mom  and bridesmaids than my spouse. After all, I knew my mom and my sister my ENTIRE life and my bridesmaids for years longer than I knew J.  That's a lot to compete with! During the first year we experienced so many transitions in life and in our new roles as husband and wife that it wasn't until this year that I could truly appreciate the friend I have in Jesse. Our friendship is in the little things: he pretends to love HGTV and Once Upon a Time and I respect his shark/whale/everything-animal obsession; we've created our own language of weird accents that we only use around each other (embarrassing, but true); we laugh a LOT and we comfort each other when we're sad; we have traditions and favorite meals/places/restaurants/movies; we know what the other person is feeling with fewer and fewer context clues AND we know how to help them through it; we don't just love each other -- we thoroughly and completely like each other. 

As I've considered this idea of friendship in marriage, I've thought a lot about the "profound mystery" that Paul describes in Ephesians 5. Paul talks about a man and his wife leaving their own families and "becoming one flesh" in their new family. I think this idea of becoming one isn't just something that happens instantaneously. Becoming one is a lifetime pursuit and process! We became a unit on August 12, 2012 when we said our vows before a barn-full of witnesses - but through God's grace we have the capacity to become even more unified with each passing day and year. What an incredible gift:)

So, here's to our second anniversary! I can't wait to see what Year 3 will bring. Thank you for following my journey as an incredibly imperfect wife and a grammatically woeful writer!

xoxo

A+J

{retreat//revisit}

So basically - J and I have pretty amazing jobs. One of the best parts is that we get to build relationships with some of the most inspiring people on the planet. And these young people aren't just talented - they have a love for God that challenges my heart and keeps me growing. Last week, we got to take some of our people out for a pre-semester retreat. Over the course of the retreat, we prayed together, discussed our dreams and fears, and ate an untold number of s'mores. As I sat around the campfire with these students that are allowing us to borrow their zeal and enthusiasm for approximately four years - I couldn't help but be thankful. Camping is not exactly my forte, but two nights and 250 bug bites later - I felt spiritually focused and excited to watch God work through these student leaders in our city. 

On the way home, we realized that we were near the apple orchard where we got married - Smolak Farms in North Andover, MA. We hadn't visisted since our wedding day and so we decided to take a detour with everybody to snap some pictures, visit the petting zoo, and of course - eat their famous apple cider donuts. It was so special to revisit the site where we said, "I do"  -- still just as beautiful as I remember!

The perfect ending to a wonderful mini-retreat:)

Still so in love with this guy.

It's still August - here's to savoring every last minute of summer sunshine!

A+J

{the very first year}

It's hard to believe that it's been ONE WHOLE YEAR since I became Mrs. Alexandra Ghoman! I mean, really, how did that happen?!

Photo by Vanessa Embling

People say that your wedding day is the happiest/most perfect/most amazing day of your whole life. And well - it is pretty incredible:) But it's not quiteeee perfect. Case in point: I woke up that morning to a charlie horse in my right calf muscle freakishly early and screaming. How's that for birds chirping and waking you up with the morning's light? I look back on my wedding day and I love the way it was, the way it felt - from the beautiful barn that was ridiculously hot (ok, that I would change), to the parade of flower children that walked down the aisle, to the cookie and lemonade mini-reception, to the yard games next to the apple orchard, the personalized Jones' sodas made by mother-in-law, and the twinkle-light reception - it was an amazing day. When I planned my wedding, I didn't quite know what I wanted it to look like - that part came later - but I knew what I wanted it to feel like. I wanted it to feel like family. I wanted it to feel like a reunion. And it totally did. Every detail came from that desire - the location, the food, the decorations, the music, and so much more. 

But mostly, when I think about my wedding - it was a means to an end. That special day led me to become the wife of my favorite person on the planet. Before we met, I was terrified that I would never find someone like him. I was worried that all the righteous, attractive, and interesting people were married already (or definitely not interested in me) and that I would have to settle for a lesser candidate (optimistic, I know). But then - I met Jesse. And he was more than I could ever hope for. He still is. 

I know that many of the girls who read my blog are married (solidarity, sistah) -- but I'm also aware that many are not. Maybe you're still waiting for your prince. And allow me, on this one year of marriage to give you a little piece of advice: wait for the right person - not just a willing person. Marriage is too amazing, too crazy, and honestly too difficult to enter into it with anyone other than a spiritual man who really loves you as Jesus does.

As I look back on our first year of marriage, I'm pretty amazed by how far we've come. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions, adventures, and lessons that I wouldn't trade for anything. I feel so thankful for J and that he picked me to spend his life with. I also feel so grateful for all of you - my family and friends who have patiently given me advice, cheered me on, and made this first year even more fun (whether in person or through this blog)! I'm forever grateful.

A glimpse at our day for those of you who may have missed it:) Thanks to our dear friend, Jonny Havens, videographer extraordinaire for capturing it.

Here's to many more years and many more anniversaries! 

xoxo

A+J

the one behind the blog name

When I was 9 I planned my wedding inside out and up and down. But I could never quite picture the groom - What would he be like? What would he look like? What would be his favorite movie? His favorite band? What would his last name be? But now, having met the Mr. who made me a Mrs. I can honestly say that my groom is much more than I could have ever asked for. Alexandra truly loves Jesse - and I thought it only fitting that the inaugural post of A Loves J to say just that. So here's to the man who makes my life an adventure and who gives me the sweetest "good mornings" and the happiest "goodnights". I love you, J :)