the one about body-image and postpartum "fashion" {if-you-can-call-it-that}

Postpartum fashion. You stumble out of bed, throw on the now too-big maternity clothes that you lived in for your last trimester only to pick up a cute-as-pie but still crying baby, feed them, burp them, change them, and then soldier on in a delightful but exhausting haze of activity, naps, laundry, diapers, snuggles, and spit-up. If you’re miraculously able to manage a shower AND put on make-up in the same 24 hour period you feel worthy of a medal (and let’s be honest, they really should have medals for this).  For those of you new moms that manage this feat with a newborn AND a toddler - we new moms of one baby stand in awe of you. That said, once you get through the first two months of all-out life-altering craziness, you’re somehow supposed to start looking presentable again. And yet, if you’re anything like me, you looked in the mirror in Month 2 and felt like the woman starting at you in the reflection was nearly unrecognizable. But hey new mama, before you start browsing through Facebook pictures of your pre-baby self (guilty), just remember – YOU JUST GAVE BIRTH TO A HUMAN. That is insane and amazing if you let yourself believe it. And maybe, just maybe, it's okay to give your body a little bit of grace. 

"mommy-camouflauge" in action

Before having a baby, I knew it would be challenging for me to accept that my body would be different for awhile…and maybe stay a little different forever – and oh.my.was.i.right. Body image has never been my strong suit. At times, I've thrown health out the window and been filled with self-loathing over my lack of self-control. Other times, I've obsessed to an unhealthy degree over calories and "points" and steps and kettlebells. Today, I'm trying to find balance and it's a whole new world of fighting to appreciate my body, take care of my body, give it time to find a new normal, and say no to at least a few chocolate chip cookies along the way. I feel like motherhood is one big lesson in “everything is different and you’ll be okay”. But thank goodness for babies who love us no matter what - and even appreciate a little squish - and for husbands that keep complimenting us through hormones and stretchy pants. And can we also thank God for the built-in mommy-camouflage of strategically holding cute babies in front of slowly-shrinking tummies?

Postpartum body image is challenging and every time we’re in the grocery store (shout-out to the moms who make it to the grocery store) we’re bombarded with headlines about so-and-so celebrity mom who lost her baby weight got her six pack back planking in the hospital and then there’s Princess Kate who walked out of the hospital in HEELS for-crying-out-loud and hello, then there’s me, who basically rolled out of the hospital in a wheel chair and greasy hair. Let’s just go ahead and agree that those fourth trimester unicorns who lose all of their weight by blinking and breastfeeding are RARE and possibly lying to the world. One of these days, the rest of us will get back to a number on the scale we feel comfortable with and a body shape we can live with. Maybe it will be different – correction, it WILL be different - but different is okay, remember?

I’m reminded of Psalm 139 – a scripture we predominantly associate with our babies in pregnancy:

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” – Psalm 139:13

If God went to all that trouble knitting our babies together – don’t you think he spent some time knitting us and that womb of ours together too? Don’t you think that he knew what he was doing when he prepared us to give birth? I have to think that just as he was intimately involved in forming our babies – he was and is intimately involved in shaping the bodies that held those teeny little bodies too! And shame on me for undervaluing something that God knit together! This body never belonged to Rosie or I anyway – it is and always has been, God’s. And that little bit of truth makes all the difference for me.

So with that little tid-bit of post-baby-body perspective – what do we wear while in this beautifully in-between, function over fashion, constantly needing-to-nurse, and ever-evolving body stage?!Figuring out how to exclusively wear separates (for nursing reasons) has been a challenge I didn’t quite expect. I have come across a few staples and tips that are getting me through these days that I wanted to share with you! If you've followed my blog at all, you know that I'm a big believer in only buying things I can wear in multiple ways. I just don't have the budget for statement piece after statement piece. So prepare for a list of basics. Hopefully they give you some ideas of what to mix and match. *there is some sort of formatting snag so make sure to drag your arrow over the paragraphs to see ALL the links!*

1.       Go shopping. I know. It’s the last thing you want to do right now and it seems like a total waste of money. But having a little confidence is worth it. NONE of my shirts fit quite right after baby (to be quite honest, I'm four months in and they still don't!) and my maternity clothes were definitely not cutting it so I went out and bought a few shirts that I’ve worn non-stop for a few months. If you need to, sell some of your old clothes so you have some guilt-free spending money and closet space for the new items! I went through some of my winter clothing and decided to purge some sweaters and dresses that I just know that I won’t want to wear this season. And if I’m not going to wear them for a full year, what’s the point of keeping them??

2.       Tunic Tees. These tees are long enough and flattering with jeans or leggings. They are the perfect tunic length that you can wear at home or out of the house without compromising on modesty (yes please!!). I layer mine with cardigans, flannels, and basically everything I can think of. I love this shirt so much I have it in three colors (update, I bought a fourth while Christmas shopping the other day…I think I have a problem)! The best part? They are $9.99. For those of you preggos out there - I also wore them while pregnant! Another friend just sent me a link for these long-sleeved tunic shirts for $21 and they immediately went on my Christmas list! They sell these in virtually every color and I’m partial to the ¾ sleeve situation. I'm constantly in the market for long tops, tunics, etc that are an appropriate length with leggings. If you have any links, please send them my way! 

3.       Leggings. Since Rosie came on the scene, I've rediscovered the need for leggings. Between being constantly up and down on the floor with her for tummy time/diaper changes and a new stage of homebody-ness (and a sincere dislike for my old jeans), I've definitely needed a stretchy, easy, day-to-day option. My favorite pair is the Lou & Grey Essential Legging. They are just so soft and the perfect thickness! I also decided to bravely venture into the world of faux leather leggings. I know what you’re thinking: Yes, I’m basically Sandy from Grease (cue Amy Poehler in Mean Girls, “I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom…*wink*”). Jussst kidding. They’re leggings that like to party – and by “party” I mean, they complement my long tees for holiday church functions very nicely.

4.       Jogger jeans. So you’re sick of your maternity jeans but not ready to wiggle and streeeetch and suck your way into your skinny jeans – I give you, jogger drawstring denim! These were a lifesaver for me this summer and I am just as obsessed with them now (even as I’m able to get back into my other jeans). These are just so comfortable and the perfect transitional jean. They are also on sale! And they come in different colors/styles.

5.       Cozy + long cardigans. Again, I live in these. The need for comfort has never been more real and I’m convinced that one new cardigan a year will sustain my need for novelty through the never-ending Boston winter. With nursing, I’m also finding them even more essential. Here are a few I’m loving: this patterned just-right cocoon cardigan that I got on Black Friday for crazy cheap; this textured beauty that I spotted on Gap’s website (would loveee this number for Christmas), this cardi with the studs - I love its tough-girl vibe. Perfect for my cool-mom leggings, right?!

6.       New shoes! Okay so you don’t necessarily neeeeed these postpartum, but I bought myself a few pairs of shoes to reward myself post-baby because I felt like my clothing may not be as exciting as it used to be, but my feet can still be happy! I’m partial to the slip-on sneaker lately. I bought these slip-ons at Target and they are my absolute go-to’s for everyday right now. Also, my feet are slightly bigger than before?! I’m also mildly obsessed with these velvet beauties in “whipped pink” from LOFT…if someone can tell Santa aka my mom or my husband…. Also these!! Ballet flats kill my toes so give me all the smoking loafers puh-lease.

Thanks for joining me on this mildly embarrassing post-partum fashion journey. And please don't judge me if you see me wearing the same 6 pieces of clothing for the next two months. I know you won't though - judgement-free zone, right?!

xoxo

A + J