the one where we said ciao {for now}

Goodbyes are a funny thing. They are both completely ordinary and then totally momentous.  We say them everyday when we hang up the phone, when we leave the house or when we leave our workplace for the night. We say them carelessly - without a second glance and with feigned politeness. Other times, we say it meaningfully - with a hug or a kiss and a promise of "see you soon."  

But then we have goodbyes that break our hearts a little. They are the lingering goodbyes -- the goodbyes that we keep postponing in favor of just one more hello so that it won't be THE goodbye we've been dreading. "Not just yet," we tell ourselves. "No tears today," we say. 

But then the inevitable comes. The final goodbye. And this final goodbye has a way of blindsiding us even if we thought we were fully prepared and anticipating this moment all along. The longer-than-normal hug, the tears, the promises of skype dates and iMessages and to-be-planned visits. 

I said goodbye in that long, lingering, just-one-more-visit kind of way yesterday. And as soon as I walked away, I got in my car and then more tears came (per usual). And then today, a lot more tears. 

Jesse and I said goodbye to two of our best friends - Jon and Rachel Buchholz. They're moving to Milan, Italy (like they're literally at the airport right now) and it's the culmination of many years of faithful prayers and unrealized dreams as they become missionairies in a country not their own. They're headed off for three to five years (maybe more?) and over the last several months I've watched them give away virtually everything they own and prepare to move away from their home and their families for the first time ever.

Jon and Rachel are the kind of people that are always going first. They were the first among my husband's friends to tie the knot, first into the ministry, and now the first to head out on the foreign mission field. Being the first to do anything is not something that I naturally enjoy. I would rather let others test the metaphorical waters before diving in myself. And whether by design or decision - Jon and Rachel have been consistently willing to jump on in and encourage those around them to do the same. And to be perfectly honest, they've made it look good - figuring it out and touching many lives along the way.

At a time in life where so many our age are focused on themselves and their own futures (ahem, myself included), I am so proud of my best friends who are putting aside their comfortability for a greater purpose. May we all be willing to do the same in whatever way our Maker asks:) 

When J and I started dating, they adopted me into their little Boston family and an instant bond developed between Rachel and I. This bubbly, bouncy, quirky blonde has been showing me how to be a godly grown-up since the day we became friends. And even now, I've loved learning from her example as they've prepared to move. I watched her fight to trust God and his time table but I've ultimately seen her respond in her usual Rachel way - with prayer, excitement, check lists, and that all-contagious joy.

I've said goodbye to lots friends and family members over the last few years and so I kind of expected to be a professional farewell-er by now - but nope. I'm still the same old teary mess I've always been. But every tearful moment just reminds me of how dear you are to me and how thankful I am for our years in Boston together. 

We love you, Buchholzes. 

Ciao for now! 

new york, i love you

A few weeks ago, Jesse and I ventured up to Big Apple for a friends' wedding and had so much fun re-exploring the city that never sleeps. When we woke up on Friday morning - the city was covered by a fresh blanket of snow and it was just perfect. I lived in New York for a year before moving to Boston and NYC is my city of firsts. It was where I first lived away from my family, where I worked my first full time job, it was where Jesse and I started dating, and it was where I became a real grown up (well, kind of). For J and I, like so many we know, New York City has a certain kind of magic in it. People use annoying words like "energy" and "buzz" to describe New York and to be honest - it's irritatingly accurate. It was this energy that both exhausted and exhilirated me during my brief time in that beautiful city. Although I'm glad that God brought me to quaint and historical Boston - I can't help but miss that city that used to be my home. 

You have my heart, New York:)

This stud I found in the park:)

We couldn't afford to ice skate, so we did the next best thing - selfies in front of the ice rink. 

And then we found our future puppy at FAO Schwartz. Isn't he edible??!...figuratively, of course:) 

You have my heart New York, but it still needs to be said: Go Sox.

:) 

xoxo 

A+J

the one with holiday hosting

The Ghomans are staying in New England for Christmas! Last night we kicked off the holiday by having Jesse's family over for a Christmas Eve Eve dinner. It was so fun to dress up our dining room table, light the candles, and eat some yummy food (that I didn't burn!). And we got to use our new Christmas plates - an early present from my wonderful parents. 

There's something really special about hosting this time of year. Everything just seems so much more...snuggly? I don't know. It's just the best. But another thing about hosting at Christmastime? It can be EXPENSIVE. As ministers, we have people in and out of our house constantly this time of year and I'm still trying to master affordable seasonal hosting. 

The Ghoman tricks of the trade: 

1. Serve hot chocolate. LOTS of hot chocolate. It's cheap and it makes people happy. Also: marshmallows. 

2. Candles everywhere! I learned this one from my good friend, Melissa. It's a relatively cheap way to make everything much more cozy. 

3. Clean a little everyday. Putting things away and straightening up as we go make those surprise holiday visits much more enjoyable.

4. Get resourceful. My mantra this year should really be: Use what you've got, and then go to the dollar store. So for decorating this year I went simple - I took tree trimmings and put them in green bottles wrapped in twine, used a red tablecloth from Goodwill as a tree skirt, took pine cones and fake red berries (from the dollar store) and put them in a glass vase as a centerpiece. 

5. Don't be afraid of plastic silverware and paper plates. Let's all stop pretending that we have dish-elves and give in to our generation's greatest invention when large crowds descend on our homes.

So on that note, Merry Christmas Eve! We sent out a cute and pretty Christmas card to a few family and friends - but I thought that you all might want to see our true colors:) 

Have an awkward little Christmas! From our family to yours. 

xoxo

A+J

 

the one with the sneaky tactics

Sunset along the Charles yesterday

As I sit down to write my first post in over a month and a half - I'm watching day fade into night. It's only 4:15pm and yet the sun is setting and night is nearly here. Outside my window, fall's last yellow leaves are threatning to fall and it's become so much colder that my efforts to avoid the puff coat seem futile. And as I sit here, sugar cookie candle aflame, house clean and 30 minutes to call my own - I feel a semester's worth of exhaustion descend on me. 

You might be wondering why I haven't written in awhile. Is it because nothing has happened? Nope! Many things have gone on this fall -we've been busy, active, and all over the place. Is it because I now hate writing and have lost all interest in this little blog? Nah, you knew that wasn't the case. I think it's because the thing that's been on my heart recently is not simple. It's not an outfit, a recipe, a house trick, or even an anecdote. The thing that's been on my heart has felt complicated and a bit heavy. I think we call it discouragement. 

Now before you start wondering about the source of my discouragement - I ask you to bear with me. Because the truth is - sometimes a feeling doesn't stem from reality or from a specific turn of events or a life stage. Rather, discouragment, is simply a feeling that develops from how you interpret reality, life events, etc. And as I think through my last few months - that is where my discouragment comes into play. 

About a month ago - several things happened that sent me in bit of a tailspin, emotionally speaking. I started questioning my capacity to accomplish the tasks God set before me. I was feeling the bitter sting of rejection and before I knew it - I was down. Really down. As I considered my strengths, my weaknesses, and my emotional state - a very dear friend and second mom (they're the best) advised me to remember that as an 11 year old Christian, Satan is still targeting me and trying to render me ineffective for God. Her perspective shouldn't have shocked me - I mean, duh, Satan is rude and relentless, and yet there was some part of me that was a little surprised that my state was a result of Satan's schemes. Why did this surprise me? I think because I'm used to helping young women with some of Satan's louder tactics. The tactic of discouragement is sneaky and subtle. 

But as I've continued to think about her advice (and as several situations have worsened and others have gotten better) - it's only become more clear. Satan has long implemented the sneaky discouragement ploy against God's people. Why else would God warn Joshua and the Israelites to "not be discouraged" or afraid multiple times in the first several chapters of Joshua? Why else would he charge Gideon to fight against it? No, I'm convinced that when Satan fails to trap us with the neon sins in the scriptures (and believe me, I'm not immune to those either) - he attacks us with the seemingly innocent (but powerful) feelings of discouragment, doubt, and fear. The ultimate faith-busters.  

I'm not sure where you're at or how you're feeling going into the holidays or the wintery season (maybe you're feeling perfectly happy and wishing this was a post on how to dress for a Christmas party...next time, ladies) - but I'm convinced that God has a plan to use this season for our good whereas Satan has a plan to leave us feeling down, faithless, and all around jacked up! What is it for you that leaves you feeling hopeless spiritually? Is it your job and feeling like it's more than you can handle? Is it school work and feeling like it's insurmountable? Is it a relationship or a friendship wrought with conflict? Is it the unkown? Is it a feeling of inadequacy in your walk with God? Whatever it is - I believe that God has the victory over discouragment and doubt. It sounds basic - but I'm fighting his tactics with the same reliable weapons: prayer (and prayer walks - so good), lots of scripture, worship music (I'm so 'that girl'), and openness. They still work! And slowly but surely, I'm feeling really hopeful and confident that my faith level can and will change.

The sun is down now and over 30 minutes have elapsed since I began my little rant. But my heart feels a little lighter as I prepare to blow out the sugar cookie candle and get on with my evening. God is good, honesty is good, and I'm happy to back on the blog:) 

xoxo and happy weekend! 

"So my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless." 

1 Corinthians 15:58

{apple picking + the autumn basics}

After yesterday's autumnal events, I think that I can finally say that I am a real New Englander. I picked apples (for the first time!), ate melt-in-your-mouth apple cider donuts, and made an apple pie (also a first). Now, before you get to thinking that I'm abandoning my Southern roots - I also said "y'all" multiple times and kept up-to-date about the Bulldawgs' injuries in Saturday's game. See there? I'm the same girl - but just, New England-a-fied. We had so much fun with two of our best friends, Jon and Rachel, as we soaked up the incredible fall day - gosh, I love Monday's:) 

Now getting dressed for such an occassion is a whole other matter entirely. Would I be climbing? Would it be muddy? After realizing that my chivalrous husband would be all too pleased to climb trees - I breathed a sigh of relief and wore whatever I wanted:) I'm always big on buying basic pieces that are interesting enough to wear and rewear a thousand different ways. I'm too broke for many statement pieces!Two of the latest additions to my wardrobe are this denim vest and this white cut-out shirt. I'm loving the possibilities both of them are giving me. The key to my New England wardrobe is simple - can I layer it? Will it look good with a scarf? These two new pieces passed the test and made me feel cute and feminine for a day in the orchard.  

Denim Vest: Old Navy

Cut-out Shirt: Forever 21 (similar)

Navy Cords: J. Crew Factory

Red Flats: Old, similar

xoxo

Happy Autumn!

the one with Kendi {and some totally awesome Old Navy jeans}

A month ago, I experienced what it's like to be a giggly, excited fan-girl. I got to meet my favorite blogger, Kendi Skeen of Kendi Everyday, -- and if that wasn't enough, she personally styled me and my Boston bestie, Amber! Although we attempted to act oh-so-cool, I'm pretty sure our constant squealing and hyperventelating outted us as total nerds:) Please forgive me for not telling you sooner - I think the excitment of it all put some pressure on my writing juices to post the perfect post to mark the occassion. I finally admitted to myself that if I waited any longer it would no longer matter anyway - because it would be awkwardly irrelevant! So anyways, after following Kendi's blog for several years - laughing at her jokes, admiring her style, and commiserating with her (albeit virtually) in hard moments - I felt like I was meeting an old friend. Kendi herself is the most down-to-earth person imaginable and her actual friends are some lucky folks! We talked about everything from wedding bands to cameras to the south (southern girls unite) and I felt like I could have picked her brain for several more hours. It's a pretty incredible feeling to find out that your cyber fashion hero is a genuinely fantastic person:)  

But it wasn't just fun to meet Kendi - it was a blast getting styled by her and getting some brand new clothes for the fall! Kendi dressed Amber and I in matching polka-dot chambray shirts, zipper ankle jeans and red flats and accessories. Twinsies! Interestingly enough, Old Navy has been my go-to for jeans for years now. In college I was constantly on the look-out for jeans that didn't lose their shape hours after putting them on. Come on, admit it, you too have been a victim of the "saggy butt" at the end of a day too. Hawt. So anyway, several years ago I discovered the Diva jeans (heyyyy) at Old Navy - and my end-of-the-day saggy bottom probs vanished! Other bonus? They're less than $30. So when I heard about Kendi AND Old Navy Jeans teaming up - I was pumped. The new jeans are stretchier than I'm used to but I'm loving them so far. They're just so comfortable! At the end of our styling session, the pop up shop put bright lipstick on Amber and I and out we went - feeling fabulous and ready for autumn. Denim on denim by Old Navy and Kendi Everyday - I would say this season is off to a pretty great start:) 

Another cool thing? Kendi even had a photo of Amber and I on her blog - check it out HERE!

Obligatory "we're-so-excited" selfie after we found out that Kendi wanted to style us both!

Twinsies + Kendi. So fun.

I was simply too pumped for a serious fashion-outfit-face.

Thanks Kendi and Old Navy for a fantastic memory and some great clothes!

{retreat//revisit}

So basically - J and I have pretty amazing jobs. One of the best parts is that we get to build relationships with some of the most inspiring people on the planet. And these young people aren't just talented - they have a love for God that challenges my heart and keeps me growing. Last week, we got to take some of our people out for a pre-semester retreat. Over the course of the retreat, we prayed together, discussed our dreams and fears, and ate an untold number of s'mores. As I sat around the campfire with these students that are allowing us to borrow their zeal and enthusiasm for approximately four years - I couldn't help but be thankful. Camping is not exactly my forte, but two nights and 250 bug bites later - I felt spiritually focused and excited to watch God work through these student leaders in our city. 

On the way home, we realized that we were near the apple orchard where we got married - Smolak Farms in North Andover, MA. We hadn't visisted since our wedding day and so we decided to take a detour with everybody to snap some pictures, visit the petting zoo, and of course - eat their famous apple cider donuts. It was so special to revisit the site where we said, "I do"  -- still just as beautiful as I remember!

The perfect ending to a wonderful mini-retreat:)

Still so in love with this guy.

It's still August - here's to savoring every last minute of summer sunshine!

A+J